I will confess that there was a short period this weekend where I was not a real peach to be around. Sigh. Sigh and sigh again. Do you ever feel like you don't want to enjoy something sweet now because you know it's not going to last? And that it is just going hurt more when it goes away or ends than never having felt the joy in the first place. What an illogical, dumb, totally normal human thought. And I was having it.
At the end of it, I had a better thought. I realized that if I'm testy about things that have happened in the past, are happening now and are to come in the future, I am totally missing out on all the good stuff today.
I've heard that before, I've known that before, but last night it sunk deep into my soul. I could not have the GIFTS of yesterday (or any other day) if I was in a bad mood about all the things in life I cannot control. I was letting sweet moments go by without appreciating them, letting sweet gestures be swept aside and withholding myself from my own life, my own joy. Not helpful in any way.
When you're in a bad place, it's often helpful if you just sit in that place and start asking yourself why and if your behavior is helping or hurting you. My behavior wasn't helping me or anyone else. Even worse I knew that I would deeply regret it sometime down the line. Not because I behaved so terribly (I didn't), but I because I denied myself precious moments that just aren't available on demand and may be hard to come by later.
You have to scoop up the sweetness in the moment. It can't be frozen, refrigerated or preserved in any way, but as sweet manna dropped from the heavens we have to pick it up and partake when it presents itself. Refusing to pick up the manna as it falls only means we are going to be hungry and without it later. Doesn't make any sense to hold ourselves back, does it?
So I am going to relearn this lesson for the "i don't know how many-eth time." But see it in a new, brighter, richer way. When God gives me manna I'm just going to go out, pick it up and say thank you. If I stop for a moment and think about it, nothing else makes sense. So I am going to be grateful.
Here are five things I am grateful for from this weekend:
1) a quiet dinner out
2) a man and little girl who want to hold my hand(s)
3) a few minutes to myself
4) safe travels over many miles
5) sharing an amazingly good lemon cupcake
How about you? Simple gratitudes from this weekend you feel like sharing?