Finding Joy During Covid-19 House Arrest

Hi Friends! I'm reaching out to the universe to say "Hello! We miss you!" to all the planet. We are on day two of "stay at home" lockdown here in New Mexico, but school has already been out for two weeks and we have basically been self-quarantining since then except for a few necessary departures from home. 

First thing this morning I took dear Hubs to an emergency endodontist appointment. Having a tooth die during a pandemic, while on lockdown is not a lot of fun. Like you need more problems. Thank goodness for Tylenol with Codeine or I'm not sure what would be happening here.

As I said, Kiddo has been out of school now for two weeks already and now with our latest state lockdown that has added at least another week, not that anyone is feeling very optimistic that the kids will go back to school this year. Kiddo says she's learned her lesson about leaving things like jackets in her locker. I think I may have mentioned that in warning a few times over the past three years but no one was listening to me on that. Ha. Whatever it takes, a mom's gentle, wise warning or a global pandemic. Insert "hands thrown up in the air" emotion here and then "laughing" emoji -- haha.

We are staying busy completing a list of chores, tasks and odd jobs around the house that have needed attention. Progress is slower than I had hoped but we are crossing things off just about every day. Yesterday I fixed three loose tiles on our master bath tub. We've been weeding and trimming up the yard in 15 minutes stretches that really end up being 30 but no one has rebelled yet. Crossing my fingers there is no uprising about it not really being 15 minutes even though I keep selling it as that.

The Man has replaced some electrical plugs this week, fixed a plastic storage cupboard that was knocked over and cracked in a crazy wind, and sorted through a box of shoes in the garage. Progress.

Kiddo has finally caught on to the philosophy The Man and I have been preaching for years that if you tidy your room up in a few minutes every day you don't have to spend a whole Saturday cleaning up a giant mess. If there is to be any silver lining to this crazy March 2020, I'll take a long-term commitment to keeping her room clean. But I'm going to hold back my celebratory dance a little longer to see if things stick.

The one person who thinks having the entire pack at home 24/7 is the greatest thing ever it is our German Shepherd. Everyone taking breaks to play with him throughout the day, people to snuggle with, no one too busy for him or leaving home for long hours. This IS his best life!

Meanwhile for we humans there are a lot of stresses underlying all this and worries for the future. Just managing the daily anxiety for children and adults requires a lot of attention and effort. But there is an interesting lesson I've learned as I've watched social media over the past two weeks. Those who are positive are positive still, those you are happy are finding ways to stay happy and make the best of life. Those who are generally grumpy, negative and sour still are. Attitude really is everything! Doesn't matter what you are going through. Some people act like this is only happening to them and some people are reaching out in every way possible to bless others and share love EVEN THOUGH this IS happening to them. Such a life lesson!

A friend dropped off a brownie mix, some microwave popcorn and some chocolate in the cutest bag on our doorstep yesterday. I have lots of friends texting to see if we need anything while they are out. 

Perhaps my favorite act of service this week was after we heard Monday afternoon that the governor was going to put the state under "stay at home" rules. So we decided to run out and just see if we could grab a few more groceries. As we were getting ready to leave, The Man got the brilliant idea to grab some food for our dear "senior" neighbors so they would not have to go out and expose themselves to the potential health risks of grocery shopping. At the store we each got a cart and tried to divide and conquer on our list.

When we met up again his cart was filled with stuff for the neighbors. In the end he delivered a giant box with tons of fresh produce because the wife is a vegetarian, juice, bread, toilet paper and other goods to them. It was so sweet! He tried to doorbell ditch the box at the porch but their dog started barking and the wife saw him. But I thought that was one of the sweetest, most generous things I have ever seen him do -- and he has always been very generous.

So I say, keep on watching out for each other, friends. Keep looking to the positive people to buoy you up. This is hard and none of us has ever done it before -- so we have to give ourselves a lot of grace and be gentle with ourselves. This is a "figure it out day by day" situation. We can do this! Brave and strong! Resilient. Loving and caring for each other.

10 Things To Consider Before Buying A Mountain Home

Well we've been living in a desert mountain environment for more than two years now and have been in our home for about 18 months. I've learned a few things that I thought I would share about buying a mountain home with a "wild" yard versus living in a designed, manicured neighborhood. There are a few things I've had to learn to adjust to, some things might have turned me away from choosing a mountain home and some benefits are priceless. But they are things I never thought about until I experienced them.

I'll start with the cons just to get them out of the way and so that I can end of a positive note:

1) Pest control: Oh the nature creatures sure are cute. The wild bunnies, flocks of quail, wild birds, and deer are so charming until you realize the furry creatures especially also bring fleas and other bugs along with them. We also have packrats, tons of mice, bobcats, snakes (poisonous and not), tarantulas, lots of spiders, very noisy, rather aggressive birds, coyotes that eat small pets and creatures, ants (of all varieties, sizes and biting abilities), and a lot more flying insects than I see at friends homes even just a little lower on the hill. Those include tarantula hawks which are giant relatives of hornets, hornets, wasps and bees. Pest control could be a full time job if we let it be. Don't imagine we are constantly under barrage of animals attacking us, but living with nature is living with nature. You have to be thoughtful and careful.

Last weekend we had a rattlesnake across our driveway and The Man could not get by, so he had to wait. Two weeks ago we had bear in our yard, very close to the house several times. That was a little scary, especially when one night I came across one and the next night The Man walked out of the house in the dark to a large bear on our front living room patio.

2) Protection for pets and children: All these critters also mean you have to be a lot more careful with children and household pets that go outside. Cats aren't safe around coyotes, and even a large dog can be taken down by a pack of coyotes or other predators. They can also pick up diseases from the wild creatures. Dogs can be rattlesnake trained but you can never guarantee what might happened if your pet comes across a poisonous creature in the wild. Child safety is also a big concern from all these same kinds of animals. I almost forgot to also mention dangerous plants! Cactus everywhere. I once had to pull a cactus needle out of Kiddo's shin that was embedded about 1/2" into her skin. Super gross feeling to keep pulling and pulling until it came out. She fell at the far back side of our property and had a lot way to drag herself back to the house to get help.

We have a rule that Kiddo can't go outside without telling us, so that we know to check on her every few minutes. Both kids and animals have to be trained to be watchful and they also need to be fairly closely supervised. It's also important to have first aid preparedness and plans for all these scenarios. Some extra caution is needed.

3) Mountain weather pattern dangers: The weather gets a little wilder in the foothills. This may mean more powerful winds, heavier rains, more powerful sudden storms of all kinds: electrical, thunder, snow, rain, etc. This can make driving more challenging too even when things are fine in the city. Temperatures can also be considerably colder in winter. You may be just a couple of miles away from the heart of town but a higher elevation, canyons and mountains that storm clouds will bang into make things a little more challenging and unpredictable. I was "twinkled" by some lightening two summers ago - it didn't strike loudly it just buzzed up the air around me and I was holding my cell phone and received a burn on my palm from where the phone contacted my hand. Not fun. I try not to go outside at all if we are having an electrical storm now.

4) Outdated utilities: The farther you live from "civilization" the less maintained utilities will be and the less interested companies are in investing in your neighborhood. Our neighborhood is about 30+ years old now. The lots are big and spread apart and the population is mostly over 70 years old. So you can imagine we are not the hotbed for the tech companies interested in investing in installing their latest technologies. Things you don't think about...high speed internet is everywhere now isn't it?!

The fact that home lots are big, spread far apart and that the soil is very rocky also adds to the plausible costs for utilities to consider upgrading to new systems and laying new wires that have to be buried underground. So our neighborhood has adequate but not great internet access and our options are limited. The phone lines are old, all the wiring is old. We've already had to have the internet company come and replace the main connector for our house at the junction box down the road and were without internet service for a week. It seems like every few weeks we have to restart our modem to reconnect to the system.

5) Public and emergency services availability: Once you are out of the city limits you will likely not be getting city water, garbage, sewer, or emergency services. You may be on the county system for fire and law enforcement and it's important to know how far away these facilities are located if you have an emergency at your home. We have a neighborhood association for garbage and water which we pay for and it's probably more that regular city services would be. We also have a septic tank instead of a sewer system. I have mixed emotions about that as well. Wouldn't probably be my first choice because we are fully, financially responsible for its proper function. When things go badly with a septic system it can mean replacing the entire tank and tearing up a major section of your yard to do it. $$$$$. Ouch.

6) Yardwork, soil and gardening challenges: In our neighborhood, most yards are left completely natural, in fact I think it's somewhat required. But if a homeowner wants to have a manicured space within a walled or fenced in area that is allowed in back of the house. We have a small grass area with a large patio, deck and pool deck area. We still haven't figured out how to deal with our grassy area as far are cutting it nicely because there are "architectural" rocks in the midst of it and around it. We need to work on that. My feeling is that a push mower would be the best bet. It's hardly worth buying a real lawnmower for such a tiny piece of grass plus it sounds incredibly dangerous potentially have rocks or bits of rock being shot out of the bottom of a power mower.

Trying to grow anything in this mountainy soil really is impossible unless it's something that is already growing on this mountainside. For any kind of gardening a lot of soil conditioning or container planting is necessary. However in the hot, desert climate, thing son planters have a hard time surviving. Large container or raised bed gardening seems like the best option. I have only planted a few small containers at this point. Maybe someday when we've finished up more house projects we can think about starting larger scale gardening projects.

Fantastic Pros:

7) The amazing views! Being higher up makes for amazing sunsets, city views and storm watching as they come across the valley. In our valley we enjoy an 80+ mile view in three directions. It's quite beautiful and the sunsets are stunning night after night after night. The mountains on the other side of our home are beautiful too. It's so much to take in and something we don't take for granted.

8) The privacy! We didn't really realize until we moved in that we actually have three houses that are within a few hundred feet of our house because the trees block the other houses nicely. But because the lots are bigger here we have plenty of privacy. All the bedrooms face out to big open, tree-lined spaces so we do feel there is a lot of privacy here.

9) Respectful neighbors. I think people who tend to live in neighborhoods like this are people who appreciate their privacy too so everything is very respectful for the most part. We did have some problems with a neighbor's dogs when they first moved in and were roaming into our yard without leashes and barking a lot but after neighbors complained that seemed to get significantly better. Our neighbors all wave as they drive through the neighborhood and we know we know them well enough to feel comfortable visiting but not intruded upon.

10) Distance from the city hustle and bustle. After living in one of the busiest areas of Los Angeles and surrounded by constant noise 24-hours a day, living a bit outside the noise of the city and traffic is lovely. It is so quiet up here. You can sit in bed at night at stare out the windows at the trees and stars and enjoy the silence. Some nights it is so quiet you can hear traffic from almost a mile away on the closest main road outside our neighborhood. That is such a huge change for us.

One thing that is very interesting is how voices carry across the mountains. Sometimes you can very clearly hear voices through the trees and there are no people there but the voices are coming from several homes away or a completely different direction. It is very strange and sometimes a little unsettling. The wind and the trees do interesting things to the things we hear.

There are so many things we do love about living here and I think there are, in any home one purchases, big pros and cons. Some you recognize before you move in and some you don't find out about until you've lived there for a time. I could do without the dangerous creatures, but I love our home, the yard and the views, our local church congregation and the friends we've made in the neighborhood. Our next door neighbors are the absolute best and that is something we had no idea about when we purchased the house because they were traveling from the time we first looked at the house until long after we'd closed on the house.

I choose to love the good and not worry too much about the challenges. Make the best of it all. Living in this mountain environment is a lot of fun and brings us a lot of things we needed at this point in our lives. I hope these tips will help you know if mountain living is right for you!

Big Like #5: All These Uses For The Simple Binder Clip

More office supply love this week and a little secret we came up with that has saved us big money and some serious frustration. We buy Binder Clips in a office size box from the office supply store and use them not only in the office but on every item in the kitchen that we might use a Chip Clip on.
And guess what, they last forever unlike their cheap plastic kitchen cousins.

We keep a box of them in the kitchen next to the fridge where we can easily grab one to close up on bag of cereal, chips, chocolate chips, nuts, freezer waffles...you name it, if it could use a chip clip we are sticking a simple black binder clip on it. Then when we're done with them we just toss them back in that box in the kitchen drawer and they get used indefinitely.

For the cost and extended life we're saving a ton not buying plastic kitchen clips. You can find them in all sorts of fun colors and sizes tailored just to your needs and preferences and buy them in varying lot sizes so you get just what you need or a few years supply for not much more than that. I also use them sometimes to hold together small art projects I am working on. They work great as clamps while gluing things together or to hold things together while you make adjustments so that everything is evenly spaced. You can also loop one over a magnet hook to organize papers on a fridge or magnet board. You can even use them to clip and display art. They can be great for holding open coloring book pages that might frustrate children to keep flat. I've used one for a bookmark before too.

We keep a few in the car too and we seem to find uses for them all the time. You can use them to clip a blanket up over a window if the sun is blazing down on sleeping kiddos (keeping in mind driver visibility issues of course!) You could clip needed items to the visors or use them to clip a blanket around a kiddo to keep them covered and warm in the car. (Use your creativity here there are a few ways I can see this working.)

They would probably be a great addition to a 72-hour kit in a variety of sizes. You could use them to create a shelter if you had some rope and a tarp or to create a water catcher by clipping up the edges of a jacket or tarp or plastic bag. You could use them to create a temporary outdoor shower with some fabric or tarp. So along with the clips, you should definitely get a tarp it sounds like! Ha. You could also use them to construct a survival oven if you had some foil or something metal. You can also use them to hold a spoon on the side of a pot by clipping one to the edge and sliding the spoon handle through the clip prongs. They could also be useful in a myriad of ways in the garden.

So very versatile, so inexpensive and so great to have on hand when you need one. From the tiniest size to the largest size there is a good use for every one and having a pretty collection of them on hand can make life a little simpler and happier.

Lessons From Home: You Can't Teach It All

It's so easy as a parent to get caught up in all the things you "need" to teach your child to prepare them for adult life. I have caught myself in the past feeling like we need to be teaching in our home every good thing I see other parents doing. What a folly and too much pressure. I learned to focus on doing what my family needs, not what every other family I know is doing cumulatively. That's not even possible to do every good thing every other family does, let alone worth stressing over. Now I pray and ask what we need to do and try to listen to inspiration as it comes.

Recently I have found myself feeling pressured about all the things we need to teach our kiddo to prepare her to go out in the world as an adult. The time is short, we've only got 7 1/2 years before she's off to college. Panic.

She needs to know how to budget time and money, how to work and earn money, how to manage adult relationships, how to live through a breakup and how to breakup with someone. She needs to learn how to fix things, how to make things, how to solve all kinds of problems from a broken down car to any variety of possible crises.

She needs to know how to keep house, fold sheets, make meals, buy groceries, eat healthily, get enough sleep and take care of her body, keep strong mentally and emotionally, clean house and learn to live with less so she can have less stress and work taking care of things. She needs to know how to get a passport, how to plan a trip....oh the list goes on and on and on.

Seriously between school, extra-curriculars, church, friends and much needed down time there aren't enough hours to teach her all of that to the level I think is needed between now and when she graduates from high school. More parenting stress. I don't want to send our Kiddo out into the world like some girls I've heard of who never learned to make a meal or had never turned on a dishwasher before, etc. Agh!

Then I thought back on my own youth and realized how much I learned once I left for college. There are a lot of people to learn from there. I also learned a lot during my time living in Denmark when I was 21-22. There are lots of opportunities to learn the skills of adult life from other people whether that be during high school, college or young adulthood. It's natural and good because other people may be able to reach her in new and more interesting or inspiring ways that we could.

"Finding myself" as a young adult was very often a reflection of experiences I had with people who grew up in different types of homes or environments that I did. It was inspiring and refreshing and often exciting to see how other people did things differently than we did in our home and it gave me a broader perspective to decide who I wanted to be and how I wanted to do things. It was all that exposure to things that were different than I was used to that taught me there were many ways to do things and many reasons to do them outside of what I experienced in the place and way I grew up. That was so educational and satisfying.

As I looked back on my own experience and made this realization, it was a huge moment for me to take a deep breath and not feel so pressured that we needed to teach her everything she needs to know about life before she graduates high school. There are still many learning opportunities between parents and children after that time too. Those do not stop at age 18. Realizing this helped me to step back and chill out.

So here's another unnecessary stress I'm going to let go of. I'm trusting in good people she will meet all along her path, I'm trusting myself to chill out and be a little more natural about this evolutionary process called raising kids, and I'm trusting her that she will keep making good decisions. I hope she will take opportunities to learn and grow through healthy relationships with others and will take opportunities to see the world through her own eyes, others' eyes and still hopefully sometimes my eyes too.

I'm also going to trust that no matter where she goes, she will take her relationship with God with her and he will watch over her. I don't need to do it all. I don't need to do it perfectly. I just need to do my best. I can keep trying to do that, without feeling overwhelmed or fearful. We can do our best and believe that good will come from it. What a relief....

Update & Revisit: Packing For Travel & Teaching Kids How

We are going to be traveling again shortly and I am reminded about something I am continually grateful for. We have a kiddo who has been able to pack her own suitcase since she was four or five years old. Amazing and such a relief when you are rushing to get ready for a trip! A few years ago I created a little picture chart for her to use to be able to pack her own bags. Since then she's become quite a pro and is usually all ready to go long before her dad and I are.

Over the years we have traveled a lot on short notice and we have lived in two locations with a lot of shuttling back and forth so The Bug has had a lot of practice packing and it has been a big help for her to be able to be so independent. Does she occasionally forget something, yes, but we all do no matter how old we are, right? As my travel guru Rick Steves always says, there's usually a store where you can buy what you need when you get there if you have to.

The way my chart worked was that I basically created a standard packing list of how many of each item she would need for most trips and put a picture with each one, since she couldn't even read yet when I first made this chart. If there were three shirts, she needed to pack 3 shirts and if there were two pants she needed to pack two pants. This worked very well! Later I started just writing in a number next to the pictures if it was different than what was on the chart, based on the length of our trip and specific needs. That worked well too.

So before she was old enough to read she could get together her clothing and set it all out so that we could go through it and check her bag to make sure she had everything and then just pop it all in the suitcase or backpack at the end. I still remember one trip we took where we only had about an hour's notice that we were leaving for the airport and she was ready in less than 30 minutes. I think she was seven. She's a good traveler.

Having a good rolling suitcase that she can manage and a backpack she can pack her travel necessities in (blanket, pillow, snacks, drink, books, iPad, etc.) in has made life so much easier. Since she was tiny she's carried her own backpack which has grown in size a bit as she has. Suitcase checks in for the flight, backpack carries us through the flight on the plane. I always packed diapers or extra underwear and extra clothing in her backpack in case of emergencies too. For little kids I like to pack  quite a few small toys and perhaps even a few little fun surprises to keep them entertained on the flight.

For little kids, I factor in that about every 15-30 minutes on the plane they may get bored, so I bring enough things to keep then interested in something new every few minutes for the duration of the flight. For longer flights you can even rotate through what you brought twice throughout the hours. I find this philosophy works well for church as well. I've come to realize that the kids who are usually running unruly all through church or on the plane are the kids who don't have anything else to entertain them. If there is lots to do right there with mom and dad they will stay there and stay engaged. Worked like a charm for us for years and I continue to employ that tactic with other kids I cross paths with as well. I usually still carry a bag with a few toys in it to church just in case and it's amazing how often they get used.

Now that Bug is older, almost 11, I'm not so concerned about entertaining her on the flight. That is really her responsibility now and I assume she'll have a laptop to watch something online if she wants and a book or magazine to read as well. That should do it, thankfully. No more packing stuffed animals, toys and all that jazz.

But I still want to make sure she has a sweater or jacket for the plane, something soft to lay her head on if needed. A thin, down puffy jacket works well as both a jacket or  pillow on the flight and and is nice to have for cool mornings and evenings. I still usually always bring a pashmina with me for the flight as well, which also works as a blanket, scarf or pillow in a crunch. They fold up easily in a corner of a backpack. They often get used by other family members who turn up a little empty handed for pillows or jackets.

I have a good backpack too that I've been depending on for travel for quite a few years now. It has been a godsend for the amount of traveling I've done over the past few years. Everything I carry on has a place and so every trip I know where I'm going to store things and where to find them when I arrive. Having a system down makes things faster when you are packing, decreases the likelihood you'll forget something as you go through each section and think about what needs to go in there and you always know where to find things.

Here's another post about how I keep a toiletries bag especially for travel that is always ready to grab and walk out the door with. It's been a staple for my trips for almost 20 years now. Here's a post about using packing cubes for clothing. I've also been doing this for almost 20 years as well and I like how easy it is to keep everything orderly and organized. It also makes it very easy to have your bags searched if that happens. Having four cubes in your suitcase, one toiletries bag and a couple of shoe bags keeps things looking great and functioning well!

And lastly, this is my favorite travel bag for trips when I know I'll be out and about for long days and doing a lot of walking and wandering. It works as a fairly small over-the-shoulder bag and if needed expands to hold shopping purchases, a lunch or a jacket. I've had this bag for 20 years, it's still in pretty much like new condition except for a little fading. But you would never know it's 20 years old and they still sell the same bag now.

Update and Revisit: Creating Your Dream Life

The new year is always a time that gets me excited for what can be and this year I am revisiting one of the great activities I've done over the past 8 years that has really helped me focus on what I want to do in my life.

I take a sheet of paper and usually draw an circle in the middle of it and write MY LIFE inside it. Then I start out drawing a line from the circle and at the end of the line I write one thing I feel I must have in my life or that I really want. For instance, it might be a garden, more peace, exercise, a different car, etc. And I keep going until I run out of ideas. I've learned a few things over the years about this activity and now I usually make it a two step process. One day I write down everything I can possibly think of that I would like for my life. Then a few days later I review it and cut out anything that really isn't a must for my happiness or that isn't something I feel I can accomplish realistically right now. I try to hone it down to things I really do want most and that are true necessities or very strong desires.

This helps me to focus a bit more, not overwhelm myself and to be a little more serious about what's truly vital to my life, my happiness and my needs. Then I recreate a new MY LIFE chart. I hang this up in my office and then when I am considering opportunities and how I spend my time I am able to reference this chart to see if said opportunities fit any of the categories. If they don't it's probably something I don't need to do or is not going to take me where I want to go in my life. A simple example, say for instance I wrote down that snow skiing was a must have in my life. It would make no sense to move to a tropical island.

So far this year I have created my The Sky's The Limit version of MY LIFE and now I'm in process to hone it down, eliminate excess and complete the project. It was helpful for me to review how I've done this in the past, so I wanted to share those posts with you. Here's the post from the first time I did this project.

My First Dream Life Chart
Dream Life Chart Update: This was written shortly after I experienced a life-threatening infection and lost my hearing for a few months. Challenging time!

Below I am also adding a post I wrote several years ago that was originally published in 2011 on the blog: reFind Joy. The website, that was more lifestyle at the time, is now a business site, so my post is no longer available there. I wanted to have a copy of it available and added it here.

Actualizing My Dream Life and Finding My Joy

By Kalani Cropper

I am so happy to be here talking about joy today. I love joy. In 2009 I was working long hours in a stressful industry and had given up many things I love to focus on my career.  I was tired and too busy. I sat down one day, with a pretty piece of yellow cardstock and wrote My Dream Life in the center of it. I drew an oval around that then drew one line out from it and wrote down one thing I wanted for my dream life.

In a few minutes I had drawn 33 lines out from that oval. Things that ranged from the vehicle I wanted to drive, the family I wanted to have, the way I wanted to look and the work and play I wanted to do – all the things I felt I needed to have an abundance of real joy in my life. This life existed for me in another space and time and how desperately I wanted to arrive there.

I carried that yellow cardstock with me every day. I would look at it longing, from time to time, looking forward to the day. Then one day a couple months later, I decided to look at it with fresh eyes and note everything that had begun to happen. I was able to check off nine things that had either come into my life, changed in my life or were in the process of changing. I wanted a garden. Without thinking about it I planted a few vegetable and herb plants on my patio and was harvesting beautiful tomatoes and fresh thyme and basil. I wanted a life where I could ride my bike most places. I started riding my bike more places. I had begun to more conscientiously live my dream life.

I looked a few weeks later and realized that even more things had begun to change in my life. This time I marked 21 items. A few weeks later 29. At that moment I was amazed that the life of my dreams didn’t require a move to a new state, a large yard, charming little free-standing house, a quiet small town, a different body or new closet full of clothes. It did not require an all-out evacuation of my current life. It only required a more conscious living in the space where I was. It came to me that I already had all the elements of my dream life right there with a little more awareness, a few small changes and more enjoyable actions.

With this new appreciation I continued to make more changes in my life. Some were easy, some were harder. Some looked like they would be painful and weren’t.  Life continued to change and I continued to enjoy more and more the life of my dreams.

On a Sunday afternoon in January of this year, I found myself being ordered by an urgent care physician to get to a hospital immediately for a CAT scan. I had expected to get a prescription for antibiotics and head back home to the couch. Twelve hours later when I left the ER to be admitted to the hospital I expected to be hospitalized overnight. The next morning when I asked the specialist who checked me out if I was going home that day he said oh no, you’re not going anywhere.  Two months later, I’m feeling much better but still have lingering effects and more treatment to come. After being unable to do anything but lie down or sit and rest for four weeks, my priorities had begun to change yet again. Sitting still is not something I am good at.

But I knew this experience had happened for a reason. As I considered all I could’ve lost, all my recuperation required and the lingering health issues that might never fully repair, my perspective on all I needed in my life had quietly but intently changed. Weeks later, I decided to create a new dream life chart for 2011 and as a new start.

I started out the same…the oval…the lines shooting out from it. But this time I only came up with nine things -- nine things that really and truly mattered to my life and made me happy.  I would be okay without my dream wardrobe, I would be okay without my dream work, I would be okay without my dream house, vehicle or travel. What now mattered most to me was my life, my health, my loved ones, peace, calm, laughter and basic living needs. I felt a huge burden lifted from me. I felt lighter, more agile, more settled down and more certain of what mattered to me. At that time it was impossible for me to get caught up in wants that were unnecessary. I also felt less tolerant of spending one minute doing anything I despise or to be disingenuous in anyway.

At the same time I felt more motivated than ever to have the life I dream of and make good use of my time, energy and resources. No more playing small, more Just Do It.  It was a sweet time, that moment between painful illness and entering fully and completely back into regular, busy, stressful life – where I could watch my life for a moment with a clear, peaceful head.

I will never be able to think of that time without being reminded to keep life sweet and simple – and to remember that all the elements of my dream life, my joy, are here right now, today all around me.

Here's another update from 2013 that talks a little more about my process and the things I've learned along with a link to an inspiring article from Drew Barrymore.

2013 My Dream Life

If you feel inspired to try to create  map of your dream life I'd love to hear about your process and inspiration. Leave a comment below if you like!

Stay Healthy This Winter

As fall takes firm hold, I'm starting to see the "whole family is sick" posts on social media this week. These posts often come along with tales of being trapped indoors with children for an entire week, trying to cope with being sick while tending said children and other tales of woe. So I thought I'd share what has generally kept our family incredibly healthy the past few years. Here are a few posts that share our "secrets" if I dare call them that.

1. Use Saline Nasal Spray and Mouthwash Daily

2. Don't Over-sanitize Your Home

3. 10 Tips For Staying Healthy This Winter

4. Sleep With A Humidifier - one in every bedroom is good!

If you do get sick....

5. Relieve Your Symptoms With Reflexology (Quick note here, I perform reflexology almost daily on my husband now and it does wonders to relieve pain and other symptoms as well as relax the body and massage in general does such a great job increasing blood flow and reducing inflammation.)

6. Keep It Simple

We try to eat a very wide range of fruits and vegetables which I think is helping - we eat spinach salads almost daily - and I can't say enough about getting fresh air, ample exercise, downtime, enough sleep, drinking plenty of water and taking a few vitamins too. I think lots of hugs help too. More on that soon.

Sending you best wishes for staying healthy this fall and winter!

10 Tips To Make The Most Of Your Visit To The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

The excitement is high here in Albuquerque. Tomorrow is the start of The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. As the days lead up to fiesta you see more and more balloons in the sky each morning. This morning, always the Friday before the opening weekend, balloons launch from the public schools all over the city. Families gather to get up close and personal with the balloonists and to get a close up view of the balloons before they take off from each school's field. It's amazing to see from our house, balloons taking off all over the valley.

This year, for the first time, we are running a little AirBnB venture from a rental unit. We posted the opening a week ago today and by the time we woke up the next morning the reservation requests were coming in. We were solidly booked by Sunday and we are looking forward to having guests from around the country and even the Virgin Islands. We're rushing over there in just a few minutes to finalize everything. Our unit is available for rent long term or short throughout the winter so if you are thinking about a trip to ABQ for the fall, holidays or just for a quiet weekend getaway, check out our listing.

Last night I made some fun guest baskets with snacks and treats and later today I am going to wrap up a little guest book with all the info they will need for the rental as well as fun information about some of our favorite things to do in the city. We're kicking ourselves that we didn't decide to "Turo" a car and sign up to "Uber" during the next 10 days. As entrepreneurs and Balloon Fiesta enthusiasts it's a great opportunity to have some fun during this annual 10-day event.

So I thought it would be a great time to share some tips for guests coming to Balloon Fiesta. Balloon Fiesta is an early morning event. It is pretty much wrapped up for the day by 10 a.m. until the evenings when there are night activities. Let's start with my most important tip.

1. Plan to be on the field early on the weekends! Last year there were people turned away and stuck in traffic unable to get to the fiesta field during the 6-7a time window. I would suggest leaving for the park by 4:30 -4:45 a.m. depending on what part of the city you are coming from to get easier parking and relax rather than stressing about getting there, being stuck in traffic and missing out.You can relax once you get there and there is already stuff going on and food available pretty early in the morning so you can bring a blanket, and even take a nap on the grassy edges of the field before things get going. Just don't miss the experience by sitting in frustrating traffic. For more information on Ride and Share, parking and more check out the official Balloon Fiesta website.

I had local friends last year you couldn't get in and were stunned, saying this has never happened in their lives. The fiesta continues to grow each year so that problem is only likely to get more prevalent. On the last Saturday of fiesta last year it is estimated there were 120,000 on the field. That is a lot of people trying to get to one part of town. Make is easier on your group by getting there early. Here's a link to traffic and parking info.

*Added note from 2016 Fiesta: The final Saturday traffic again proved to be immense. People sitting in their cars not moving for a couple of hours. My recommendation is to leave for the park by 4:30 at the latest. You do not want to come all the way to Albuquerque to sit in your car and miss out on all the activities on the field. If you come early you can get a leisurely breakfast and hang out. The time actually goes by very quickly.

2. Dress for the weather - both warm, cold and possibly rainy. While the daytimes highs are still in the upper 70s to 80s at this time of year in Albuquerque, it is chilly in the mornings. Wear layers and anticipate being cold early in the morning. Also plan on potential rainshowers. We're at the end of our monsoon season but the possibility of an afternoon or early evening thunder shower is high. Be prepared. Here's a link to the local weather report.

3. Bring your sunscreen and sunglasses. Albuquerque is a high altitude climate and the sun is bright! Easier to get sunburned too with less atmosphere to filter the sun's rays. You might want to bring a blanket or lawn chairs to sit on as well. 

4. Be ready for good food. There are some awesome food vendors at the fiesta, take advantage all you can. For breakfast, consider the official breakfast of New Mexico - the Breakfast Burrito.

5. Anticipate traffic when leaving the park. Traffic can be much heavier than normal as crowds leave the park. It's a great time to grab some food and just sack out on the big empty field at the end of the day. No need to sit in traffic. This is a great time to visit the Balloon Museum on the same property. It is beautiful and has some great new exhibitions this year.

6. Enjoy all of Albuquerque. Since the ballooning all takes place in the early morning there are tons of activities planned throughout the city for the rest of the days and evenings. There are also great coupon books available with all sorts of discounts available at the Visit Albuquerque booth on the field at Balloon Fiesta. Here's a link to Balloon Fiesta and flavor of Albuquerque Flipagrams I made recently and you can see lots more of Albuquerque's beauty on my Instagram feed.

7. Look for the giant Albuquerque Frame - where you can also get your photo taken on your phone for free in the giant frame with the balloons in the background. At the booth are the coupon books and great staff and volunteers who can help you learn all you need to know about Albuquerque. You can also visit the Visit Albuquerque website for coupons and discounts as well as lots more information on events happening throughout the fiesta.

8. Don't miss a Balloon Glow and Special Shapes Rodeo. On several evenings during fiesta there is a glow, which means balloons cover the field and inflate, lighting the night with glowing balloons. The sound and sight is quite beautiful and there are usually fireworks shows and other events, as well as all the good food again. A fun event! The Special Shapes Rodeos are an opportunity to enjoy all the unique balloons beyond the traditional balloon shape. There are all shapes and sizes and so many fun and recognizable characters. One of my favorite activities.

9. Plan in an afternoon nap. Getting up so early in the mornings, it's likely you'll want a nap or to head to bed pretty early. Planning that into your schedule, especially if you're traveling with kids makes life a little easier.

10. Have Fun! Albuquerque is so beautiful this time of year and the people here are so kind. The crowds are only big for short periods of the day so you can really relax and enjoy yourself and have some fun here. It's so easy to get around the city and for a pretty big city it doesn't feel crowded.

There is so much to see and do. Take a bike tour with my friends at Routes Rentals, ride the Sandia Peak Aerial Tramway, visit Los Poblanos and see their beautiful Farm Shop, have some good New Mexico food at Sadie's or El Pinto. Enjoy the outdoor seating for great meals at Backstreet Grill, The Grove Cafe or The Standard Diner. Check out the art scene at one of the many galleries in town and visit all our fine museums too! There is no shortage of great things to do here in our city.

If you have other tips or recommendations I'd love to have you leave them in the comments below. It would be great for this post to have a variety of opinions and suggestions for the best ways to enjoy The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta!

*One more quick bit of info that can be very helpful. Because Balloon Fiesta is a weather dependent activity things can change or be cancelled if there is an issue with wind, rain, etc. For the most up-to-date activity and weather information, follow @balloonfiesta on Twitter or Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta on Facebook. Twitter is the most up to date source of information.  A couple of events have been cancelled this year (2016) and you can get a raincheck for a follow up event when that happens. You can save yourself the drive and parking and all if you are up to date on what's happening on the field if things are cancelled.

The Challenge Of Feeling Safe

When I was young I was under the impression that when a person reached about 30 maybe 35, after having spent a reasonable amount of time in the adult world,  they magically had everything figured out. Life became more of an autopilot situation now that they were mature enough to have learned how everything worked.

Sadly when I got to the world of adulthood and had spend a reasonable amount of time there I realized this was anything but the case. Then I looked at my friends in their 50s and 60s and thought, "Well, they have it figured out. They are pretty wise."

But then as I enjoyed a wonderful friendship with a grand mentor who was about 60 years old, I realized she had more things to worry and stress about that I had at my age. By that time she has long had a husband to worry about and then she added children then grandchildren. That was a lot of people to care for and worry about. Not that she was a big worrier but when you have so many people under your hen wings, that's a lot of directions where sadness, pain and suffering can come from.

Sometimes it's the hard-headedness of one's spouse or the decisions of their children. Other times it is sickness and death.  Jobs are lost, wars come and go, financial downturns seems to come from nowhere.

And when we're young we have so little experience with the broad spectrum of life's pains that we live in ignorant bliss. Now as I continue to get older, more and more of life's pains and sufferings have touched people I love, my family and friends - and me. Women and men I know have lost children and spouses, sometimes even suddenly without warning. I've watched people lose their homes, lose contact with their kids, suffer broken hearts and broken souls.

Our little family has suffered our own struggles and heartbreaks and it seems the more one gets acquainted with these pains of life, the less safe one feels. I think the great sadness of aging is that you learn that nothing is safe and yet you grow to the position where despite knowing this, you end up in the shoes of being the one to be the shelter and safety for all those that come behind you.

Despite all the terrible things you've seen in the world, you sing a peaceful lullaby to your little one and tell them repeatedly that "everything will be okay". You continue to say "Be safe out there" despite the fact that you know it is not always safe out there. You say "See you tonight" knowing that there are others whose loved ones will not come home that day.

And how do we live on in such a world? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Not in a sad, morbid way, but asking myself how will I find joy in life and continue down this path, knowing more and more of life's sadnesses. I suppose part of it has to be with closely acquainting oneself with life's joys, great and small. Yet, that does not seem enough. One must make peace with loss, grief and sadness.

I guess I do that, perhaps even on a daily basis, but it's been on my mind. Perhaps I find peace in Christ's atonement, that it heals me and the world from the pains. But my mind still toys with the daily realities. What will life be like when my parents are no longer here and I can't call home when things go badly? How will I feel when I am too old to live alone or can't walk on my own? How am I going to find grace in these things? I hope there is enough grace to fill in all that void.

How do we get up and keep going. How do we wake up again in the morning and continue to march forward. There must be something biological in it, that like animals woken from hibernation, draws us from our beds, from loss, from sadness and brings us back into the sun to shine another day.

I do know that I want to walk this path in grace and wisdom. I don't want to lose, I don't want to suffer, I don't want to grieve. Surely I've done plenty of it for lost loved ones, lost opportunities, lost hopes and dreams. But life is tests and trials along with the joys and beautiful sunrises. 

I've been feeling like life is very tender lately. Perhaps it is all the traveling and being in different, far off places for so many nights lately. Maybe it's because I have been away from my most important people and so many dear friends. It could be due to the fact that we am not fully settled in the new life still after a few months.

Somehow I am certain that all this emotion comes from feeling deep gratitude for all that I have. I am having a lot of  impactful opportunities to really appreciate my life, family, friends, career and opportunities so much in this moment.

Do you think about these things? What do you do when you feel the tenderness and fragility of life so frequently welling up in your throat. I'm not sad, or down. Not upset, depressed or fretting. I'm just thinking about how precious life is on a pretty regular basis lately. What do you do when you are in such a phase? I assume it will pass in some way soon which will be a bit of a relief. All this love and gratitude is a little heavy to bear sometimes. (big, warm, love-filled smile).

Rainy Winter Forecast For Fashionable Rainboots

The rain continues in Los Angeles and since late summer I've been begging the weather gods for a real winter because my brain is fried from the heat of the 2014 heatwave that seemed never ending, I'm drinking in every bit of the "wintery" weather we're having. I also bit the bullet and finally bought myself a pair of real rainboots.

image via Zappos

After doing a good bit of research Tuesday, I woke up yesterday morning wanting to look once more at the black version of these boots just in case I wanted to change my mind and go with those instead.  These are the Gabriella Rocha Mariene Rain Boots available at Zappos. I love the adjustable calf buckle, contrasting red zipper, the olive color and harness detailing.

To my horror (slight, but only slight exaggeration) I could not find the black version online anymore. Sold out?! Oh no. So I ran to get my Visa card and quickly purchased these in fear that they too would no longer be available in my hard-to-find size.

Purchase has been made and they should arrive, shipped for free in the next 24 hours. After several days of wet shoes, I am looking forward to trying these out. According to the long-range weather reports I will have lots of opportunities to wear these. 

The decision making process was really complicated by the frustrating act of reading online reviews. It seemed that for every pair on the internet, at least one person's boots had leaked, fallen apart or something like a buckle had broken not long after purchase. Not encouraging when you're making a purchase to wear in the rain.

Most of the positive reviews were more about how the boots fit or whether or not the buyer liked the color. So it was really hard to get a feel for the quality and waterproof reliability of each pair. Even the well known name brands had complaints about leaking and falling apart.

So in the end it was a bit of a risky proposition but I decided to just go with these because I really like the look and a designer will get me every time with a contrasting zipper. Olive and green, is definitely a favorite color combination plus they were available in my hard-to-find size. So I jumped at them after what seems like years of contemplating this decision. Last year I had absolutely no need for rain boots - or even closed toed shoes for that matter. But this winter I think I will get my fair share of wear. Let's just hope they work.

Since I purchased them at Zappos, I can easily return them if they don't work. But I really hope they will. Much to my surprised, when I went to check out at Zappos the most recent shipping address was the house I lived in in 2006-2007. Bizarre. I cannot fathom that I have not ordered anything from Zappos in nearly a decade.

image via Amazon

I also searched out a pair for The Bug. Again had a very frustrating time with the reviews and finding the right pair was compounded by a suddenly very picky little kiddo. She decided to go with all black which just feels completely boring to me for a rain boot -- a place where you have all sorts of options to really show off your personality and do something colorful and quirky. But these will go with everything, so there's that...and reviews were good and the price was right, just $29. These are the Kamik Raindrop Rain Boots available at Amazon.

Now we are ready for our silly little version of winter. I'll take it! Despite how very much we love and appreciate our generally fantastic weather we are loving the chance to experience a good SoCal winter with what we hope is lots of drought-busting rain. (Not too much at one time, please, dear weather gods. We do not want one of those nasty SoCal winters filled with flooding and mudslides. Yikes.)

So how do you feel about reading online reviews? Are they as frustrating to you as they are to me? While I do appreciate helpful reviews, the negative reviews generally just discourage me from ever purchasing anything. I never quite feel good about a purchase after reading negative reviews.

The reviews that drive me most crazy are the ones that say, "I've haven't actually used/worn these yet..." So why would a person write a review when they haven't done anything they can yet review. I just don't get that. Sometimes all the benefits of the internet, like online product reviews, just start to become a negative instead of a help.

Anyway, looking forward to putting these rain boots to use. Keep warm and dry folks!

8 Tips To Prepare Your Family to Serve Others

Last week I wrote about ways we can help the poor and needy. Today I wanted to share some of what I've learned about successfully volunteering with kids.

A couple of weeks ago I had the chance take The Bug to serve at the food pantry. I checked the first time, when I went by myself, to see if families could volunteer, what ages were appropriate and how their schedule worked.

Here are a few ideas for preparing the family for a positive experience volunteering.

1) Learn everything you need to know in advance. Do your research, talk to the staff at the location and go and serve once yourself so you can see how it will work for your family.

2) Talk to the kids in advance. Tell them what to expect. What they will be doing. Let them know how long you will be there. Will they be wearing a hairnet or apron? Will they need to be quiet in certain areas? Will there be a break? Snacks?

3) Teach the kids about appropriate safety behavior. Let them know about any physical dangers and where they will and won't be allowed. Give them any details you can about the situation they can expect there. At the food pantry children must stay with an adult and need to be very careful in the warehouse area.

4) Role play how to act in social situations they may be unfamiliar with. There may be situations that require some social graces and sensitivity when dealing with the elderly, poor or needy. Role play with the kids how they can best interact graciously. then they won't be nervous or embarrass those they are serving, you or themselves.

5) Teach them about the blessings of service. Find and share some success stories about people who have been helped at the charity you will visit. On most charity websites they have history and statistical information you could share. You can also share your own experiences if you have already visited.

6) As you serve highlight positive moments and good feelings you see your kids experience. Praise them for their good work and share with them how it is appreciated and helping the organization succeed.

7) Have a post mortem meeting. When you complete your service let family members share their experiences, build on the positives and talk about negatives. What did members enjoy, what could you do differently next time to increase the positive aspects of the experience.

8) Plan your next service opportunity. During the post mortem, while the experience if fresh in everyone's minds, schedule the time for your next service opportunity. You may choose to try a different activity or revisit the same organization again.

Teaching kids generosity and service are opportunities for some amazing life lessons.  These are experiences and lessons they will carry with them throughout life. Here's a link to another helpful article full of ideas for how you can do service with your family - 10 Ways To Teach Your Kids To Serve Others.

How have you helped your family learn through service? Any tips you can share?

Image via Deseret News

Fashionable Outdoor And Travel Pants

As I was packing for a little adventure recently I realized a little too late that I really needed some lightweight outdoor travel/hiking pants. The fabulous kind that hide dirt, keep you cool, wick water and have four-way stretch so you can move. That lead me on a pretty desperate last minute hunt and a quick lesson in what is available out there that is a lot more stylish than they once were.

I thought I would share four pairs of lightweight travel pants that give camping and trekking a fresh new look.

Prana Monarch Convertible Pants

I like these because the convertible isn't super short "man-looking" shorts but instead a pretty nice just below the knee capri cut. The waistband detailing is nice, so much better than elastic with a pull-tight nylon belt like one would find on outdoors pants in the 90s.

Prana Halle Pants

This is another pair of Prana pants. The Man is crazy for Prana brand pants and the greatest laugh I've had in a long time was reading the online reviews for men's Prana pants where man after man (we're talking pages and pages of reviews) gush about how much they love their Prana pants and say they would wear the same pair every day if people didn't notice.

A lot of the guys say Prana are the only pants they wear now. That is definitely the case at our house. These pants don't come cheap but people are passionate about Prana pants and I have seen that they hold up well to all kinds of abuse, keep their shape and are super practical for an active lifestyle.

Lole Gateway Pants

This is a new to me brand I found on Zappos. I really like the cuts and styling and the online reviews for these pants are positive too. These babies look comfortable.

Lole Trek Pants

These are pants you could wear to all sorts of occasions and are more travel than hiking. But they look great, come in a multiple color options.

All these pants are easy wash, fast drying so you could easily rinse them out, hang them up overnight and be ready to wear them again the next morning if you needed to. The comfort stretch material means you could wear them for long hours without dying to change into something else. They are also abrasion resistant, stain resistant and made to take the abuse of travel.

No more camping in cotton denim with all the great new options for comfort, easy care and built to last capabilities. They roll up easily and are easy to pack too so more room in your backpack or suitcase for treasures.

Emergency Preparedness: Water Storage & A Stove

I thought I'd share a couple of valuable but inexpensive emergency preparedness items we picked up in the past few months. Since we live in a very crowded urban area and it IS earthquake country (amongst other possible disastrous scenarios) we know that if the you know what hits the fan, we are going to be on our own to take care of ourselves.

We have 72-hour kits, although the food needs to be a bit updated. But we do have food storage in the cupboards & could easily grab a few things in a pinch. Gear-wise we have a lot of what we'd need as well.

We got a large retailer gift card from a family member recently and I really pushed myself to get something meaningful and important with it, rather than just blowing it on laundry detergent and toilet paper. So I went to the store with the intention of finding something we needed that would last us a while and serve a valuable purpose.

I was thinking about emergency preparedness items and came across this stove that is an ideal emergency tool. It's easy to set up, basically effortless except to connect the butane can which pops in the side compartment. At about $20 dollars it's a great deal and would be very stable and easy to cook on versus some tiny camp stoves. This would also be great for picnics for a night or when traveling to heat up some water or make a quick and easy meal in the outdoors.

The second things we purchased were two of these Reliance 7-gallon water storage jugs. These were about $18 each. After we got home we noticed that they had a few mixed reviews online but we liked that they were easy to store and held a significant amount of water. Fourteen gallons for the three of us could be rationed out to last at least half a week or more. If we got one more we would have enough emergency water to last us a full week at the rate of a gallon of water per person per day.

One of these would also be good to pack on long road trips in case of emergencies like a freeway closure (for an accident, fire, storm, etc.) where we would have to wait a significant number of hours before the road was passable again.

We will continue to add to our emergency supplies but these are two things I am really comforted that we have now. Food and water will be critical items in a bad situation. Over the years I've put out quite a bit of information about emergency preparedness. Below are some links that might be helpful.

Emergency Preparedness For A Blackout
72-Hour Kits
Food Storage
Be Comfortable And Safe In An Emergency

We Need To Teach Children Basic Living Skills

In an era where parents get so excited their children have black belts, are learning Mandarin, score numerous goals on the soccer field and have the lead in the school play I have some concerns that we might be missing the boat. Are we teaching children basic survival, life skills? When I was growing up we had chores, helped around the house, worked in the garden, helped can and preserve food, and helped in the kitchen. We earned and managed our own money. We cleaned our own rooms. Did we do a great job? No. Was it always fun for our parents? I'm sure NOT. Did we sometimes just make more work for the adults? Yes, I'm sure we were terribly annoying sometimes!

I am the oldest in my family and from a very, very early age I was able to cook a meal that would keep us alive. It might not be pretty but I could do it. I learned very early to make pancakes, grilled cheese, macaroni and cheese from a box, Ramen noodles...okay not always that healthy, but we ate straight from the land most of the time when my mother cooked so I doubt very much that a little processed food hurt us too much every once in a while.

But my point is long before I was ten I could put a meal on the table for my sister and I and my dad if my mom was away. And I dare say both my sisters were possibly younger than me when they could do the same. I was baking about the same time and was making pies from scratch when I was twelve. To me this did not seem very unusual. When I was a very tiny girl I was measuring flour and helping my grandmother in the kitchen. My parents and grandparents involved me in the daily work of life from birth. Before I was twelve I had taken several childcare/babysitting, safety and cooking classes taught in the community and sometimes through 4-H classes taught by friends' mothers.

When I got into my late teens I was stunned to see girls in college who did not know how to do dishes or cook or grocery shop and who were incapable of doing their own laundry or tidying up their bedrooms. I watched other children reach adulthood having never once helped their mother put a meal on the table or cleaned their house or had chores. From my background this was stunning and put these children behind the eight ball when it came to surviving basic living skills in adulthood. I watched them stumble and sometimes fall hard. Some of these kids have had several failed marriages, have been emotionally unable to manage adult life, unable to hold down jobs, been in trouble with the law and have failed at much of what they have attempted as adults. It's great to be the best dressed kid at school with the coolest car or a genius foreign language speaker or star athlete but if you can't do the basics you will struggle. If you don't know how to keep food in your house, do your laundry or get yourself out of bed in the morning and be on time to where you need to be without a parent doing it for you, you're going to have a very hard time in life. We need to prepare children for life in a better way than this.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm thinking about what I can do to help our little lady be more self sufficient. Lately we've been working on cleaning up one's own dishes and rinsing them and putting them in the dishwasher. I see that she is very able, but it doesn't get done unless I remind. Now it's getting easier and it is starting to get a little more automatic.

If there are two things that I think require an annoyingly constant effort when it comes to adults teaching children and preparing them for adulthood they are 1) teaching them daily living skills and discipline and 2) teaching them to eat healthily. Both will have such a major, major impact on their health, well-being and success as they grow and when they are adults. But the daily need to consistently reinforce these two things every day has driven more than one parent to just give up. And the kiddos suffer.

We can all see it absolutely reflected in our communities that when children are not taught to eat healthily and are allowed to only eat whatever they want they suffer, especially from processed, nutrition-less foods. There were no obese kids when I was growing up. None. And now it is a major life concern a generation into parents taking the easy way out when feeding their kids. I've mentioned this before, but we went through hell for a few months when The Bug was about three to teach her to try everything twice before she refused to eat it. And she will try anything now and likes just about everything. She is very conscious about eating healthy foods. It wasn't fun, we paid the price but the rewards are life-long and our lives are SO much easier now for having suffered for a brief time to help instill the right lessons. Everywhere we go people comment on what a good, well-rounded eater she is. We paid the price for a short time and are reaping the benefits and more importantly, she will for life.

The same goes for basic living skills. We are trying to work on these things but still have a long way to go. Two of our small triumphs have been having her help fold and put away laundry and helping in the kitchen. When she was just three she has the assignments to fold all the small towels and wash clothes and put them away and after we took anything sharp out of the dishwasher silverware tray she put away and organized all the forks, butter knives and spoons. Household chores is one area I strongly believe in getting started young. They get more and more grumpy about it every year, so creating a pattern where they are expected to help at a very early age relieves some of the grief of trying to get them to help as they get older. Good luck trying to start a kid on helping around the house at 8, 10, or 15.

There are still too many nights when I do the dishes by myself because she's busy doing homework and days when The Man and I pick up more than we should of her stuff, but seeing little bits of continued progress keeps me going. We are trying to instill the instinct that if you see an adult working around the house, you stop what you are doing, come and ask "What can I do to help?" with the understanding that some times there will be nothing she can do to help, but she should always check.

We want her to be aware of the work that is being done around her and to always be willing to chip in if there is something she can do. It's amazing how quickly her attitude and self-image climb when she's been able to help us out with something, even if she doesn't want to at the beginning. That is another lesson I am trying to teach, that helping and working make us happy and make us feel good inside. I try to point that out every time I see it happen in her so that she learns to recognize it on her own.

I am thinking a lot about pulling back on activities outside the house to make sure that all the important things from inside the house, inside our family and inside our girl are well-developed, healthy and able. Because really what I want for her is a happy, healthy life (emotionally, physically and mentally), with good relationships, and the ability to thrive and live well. There are many things that children can only learn in their own homes and most often best by their parents and grandparents and other influential adults in their lives. Let us not forget those things as we encourage our kiddos to excel out in the world. Their best life lessons still come from home!

image via mca