01 June 2011

Stupid Standards We Set For Ourselves


Trying to live a balanced life, that was the goal for this year. Yesterday for fun we rode our bikes to the library, went for a sandwich for dinner and on the way home we rode around and around the empty city adminstration parking lot for a good while. It was great fun and we even captured a bit of it on video. It was a beautiful way to enjoy the summer night.

Now for a less beautiful moment. Haa-haa. This thought crossed my mind a few days ago while I was glamorously (wink) getting out of the car to go to Subway to get  lunch. Do all women have the expectation that they'll look okay when they look like a model? I realized I have somewhat silly, ridiculous expectations, not quite model expectations, but not far off, for myself sometimes. When will I be satisfied?

Why do we set ourselves up for failure by applying perfection as the standard by which we'll be satisfied. We're only happy if our home is spotless and looks like a showroom, if we keep up with the Joneses, if we're the same size we were in high school, if we have three closets full of designer clothes, if our hair goes perfectly, we have no breakouts, and the lashes look curled just so. How do we break out of this? I suppose for some, totally giving up is an equally intense challenge. Making no effort to beautify one's world is probably equally "sinful".

This is probably a follow up thought process to my post from last. It' seems such a challenge to find a happy balance in life. What is too much? What is enough? What is not enough? It seems we so often either over indulge ourselves (in food, shopping, sleep, goofing off) or deny ourselves too much (not enough sleep, fun, laughter, quiet time, etc.) How do we find the balance. It can't be made and put into effect in one thoughtful day. It must need to be a minute-by-minute, day-by-day set of small actions consistently applied.

Do you find yourself having these silly, and potentially damaging thoughts? Have you overcome them? Are they causing you angst? How do we overcome these? I am sure gratitude has a role, maybe it's the answer? What do you think?

photo via The Fashion Spot

3 comments:

GLENDA CHILDERS said...

Such an important topic, Kalani.

Fondly,
Glenda

makemyselfathome said...

Kalani, I so know what you mean. I am CONSTANTLY guilty of comparing myself to others, worrying what others think of me, & holding myself to impossible standards. I'm sure gratitude does have a role, & it's something I know I need to work on.

Greek Goddess said...

Great post, Kalani. It's something I deal with, too. Yes, gratitude is a huge help. I think of MKS-she likes to talk about how a grateful person is a happy person. I could write a whole blog post in response to your questions, but since this is a comment, not a post I will sign off for now. Thanks for addressing the topic. More discussion on this would be great. It's nice to know others deal with it, too.

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