21 February 2014

What Makes A "Go-To" Friend

I have been thinking a lot lately about the friends I go to in an emergency. I am really bad about asking for help and will go to extreme measures sometimes not to have to ask people to simply help me out. I am trying to learn not to do this, but it's a work in progress. Life has a sneaky way of forcing us to learn lessons we don't immediately grab onto when offered. In my case, life has forced me into situations where I have had to ask for help.

I think about these angels of ours often, the friends I know I can turn to in a crisis. I want to be such a friend too so I have been contemplating what it is about these friends that make them "Go-To" friends. Here are a few things that I think make them the people I know I can turn to and trust when things go south and our family needs emergency help.

1) Go-To friends always make sure you know they are there for you. Our Go-To friends regularly offer their aid. Their continual reminders that they are there for us give me peace that they are really willing to help if they can. The more they remind me the safer I feel asking.

2) Go-To friends speak from their heart. One of our dear church associates gave me a big hug one day while The Man was away on a work trip and said, "I am here anytime if you need me. You just call me. That's ME talking, not the Church." That brought me to tears that he wanted me to know that he wanted to help not just because the church had asked him to watch over our family but because he deeply cared. I would call that guy in an emergency.

3) Go-To friends don't always wait to be told what you need. I had the most lovely experience when sick of watching a friend and neighbor come into our home and do some amazing things while I was lying in bed. Even though I felt awful and was half passed out, I could hear her and see her buzzing around doing exactly what was needed without me having to ask. That was a great blessing. I learned to trust her on a new and deeper level that day. I would not have had this experience if I had not accepted her willing help.

4) Go-To friends check in on you. Several of my Go-To friends will just send an email or text and ask how I and my family are doing and if there is anything they can do to help. They offer opportunities to go for yogurt or for a walk. Some send cards and little gifts in the mail like a bookmark or a little wooden heart. They let you know they are thinking about you and that you matter.

5) Go-To friends ask if they can or just straight out tell you they are going to pray for you. Some ask what they can pray for, others just let you know what they want to talk to God about on your behalf. It does strengthen me to know that others speak to God on our behalf. You can never have too many prayers going skyward.

6) Go-To friends share their experience to encourage you on. It's amazing to me how learning about other's learning experiences helps me in my life. If we were all too embarrassed or private to share our personal journeys we sure would be missing out. Frequently I am reminded of inspiring things friends have shared with me that remind me that I can do what I have to do and that I am not alone.

I think these are terrific characteristics and I really want to be more of these things! I am so grateful for our Go-To friends. They mean the world to me. I know that The Man has a deep gratitude for these people who have watched out for us when he has been away, especially in times of trouble.We carry these angels very close in our hearts.

I tell God how thankful I am for our earthly angels and ask him to bless them and to help them feel the depth of our gratitude. (Not that we don't tell them that ourselves, but I think God has special ways of doing this too.) I would love to hear about your Go-To friends and what traits you see in them that you admire. Leave a note in the comments if you like. I hope you have a great day. Thanks so much for coming by!

PS: Had to add another quality that I think is absolutely essential: LOYALTY. That means not sharing details or opinions about you, your life, your emergency or the state of your private life with anyone. That is critical in a Go-To friend. If a person can't do this, they can't be a friend, let alone a Go-To friend.

1 comment:

Jane @ The Borrowed Abode said...

This is good stuff, and you are right on with it. I'm reevaluating after my rough fall/holiday time - noticing that some friends turned out to be more go-to than others.

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