Business Classes & A Spiritual Book For Women

This has turned into quite a busy little summer with ongoing kid camps, lots of activities with friends, trying to grow three little businesses and taking two business courses. I think sometimes busy-ness can be a blessing to get us through certain periods of our lives and this might be one of them. I feel like the busy-ness is a bit of a blessing right now.

via Deseret Book

First thing I want to share with you is this wonderful book my sister sent me, A Quiet Heart by Patricia Holland. It was given to my sister by a friend and then my sister sent me a copy. It's a very small book in size and page number but it is filled with so much for the Christian woman's heart. I would recommend it to women of any faith. It is all about our place as women, as unique individuals, our need to filter out so many distractions and truly focus on one thing and that is submitting to the Lord's will for our lives and the promises that we will find peace, greater fulfillment and happiness there than in any other place possible.

It's message is one of gentleness, love, acceptance, humility, inner stillness and much more. Such a great read and truly inspired to help one center on the important and good things of life while letting go of the distractions of the world and the pain and suffering they cause us. Lovely read and I'm not quite done with it.

I signed up for a small business class at a local entrepreneur support organization a month or so ago. It is a six week class and we're about half done right now and the homework/preparation load is increasing. But I am learning a lot and enjoying the class.

A few weeks ago I was asked to take part in a self-sufficiency class at our church which included a breakout group for people wanting to grow a small business. That is definitely something I want to do but dedicating one night a week to it when we are already quite busy in the evenings was a tough commitment - especially realizing it will be almost fall and we'll back in school before this class ends.

We're two weeks in, still 10 weeks to go, but it has been an amazing and enlightening experience already, even when I am so tired I am falling asleep during the conversations. After a couple of nights of little sleep this past week, it was tough for me to stay awake in our class on Wednesday. The whole concept of taking classes with people who can share expertise and individual talents and work together to help each other is pretty brilliant. There isn't a teacher for the class but instead a facilitator - who just helps foster the conversation. There is a curriculum but as a class we go through it together, taking turns reading, presenting ideas, etc.

Both classes come with some fairly significant homework and that is taking some getting used to and some juggling to be able to make it happen. If I thought it was a challenge getting homework done in high school or college, it is much more challenging being married and having a family, a house, and lots of other responsibilities. Wow. But I'm getting it done, even if it's an hour before the class.

I already know that both classes are helping me be a better business person and that will help me across the board in anything I do career-wise. I've invested quite a bit of time and money in my career this summer and I am anxious/excited to get it to pay off. In my logical mind it makes sense that it will but there is always that little voice that speaks fear, failure and falling on your face. But it's good to just shut that one off and do your best.

I hope that a year from now I can look back on this post and see a happy trail of successful growth both spiritually and career-wise. I've been reminded of the philosophy that any forward movement is a move in the right direction and whatever energy you put forward towards your goals will get you in the right direction, even if its not the direction you expected or does not bring the outcomes you expected. I've been trying to just do what I think I need to do each day and not get too crazed about life. Staying in a place of faith and inner-stillness is of massive importance to me in my life right now and it is blessing me so much that I can't even tell you.

A Special Request Art Piece For My Birthday

After returning home last week and feeling that sense of urgency to get the wheels of progress rolling again it suddenly seems like there is a lot going on in every direction. That is a good thing and I am really feeling energized by small steps forward that are happening and ideas that are percolating. It feels like the speed of things is picking up too, so I'm feeling excited and a little bit of "hold onto your hat!" I am very interested to see what the next few months are going to bring.

Last year for my birthday I ordered a few pieces of art for the house. One of them was an art piece similar to this one above with the Los Angeles LDS temple as the focal point. This year I wanted to add the Albuquerque Temple now that this is "our new" temple. The artist Tolman Bryant Design didn't have the Albuquerque Temple among their offerings so I sent a message through Etsy asking if they would considering making one.

Within a day or so I had a file emailed to me with the sample work in it, already created and ready to go. I was so surprised! I had been thinking of making this a birthday present to myself - I always get myself something or a few things for my birthday, so I thought this would be a fun gift. I ordered it just before my birthday and then when we got back in town it was waiting for me....along with many other packages that I had ordered.

I didn't think too smart and had a ton of packages arrive here while I was gone. Some I had anticipated would arrive before I left, and a few I hadn't anticipated ordering at all, so it was an unusual cavalcade of deliveries while we were gone which did leave The Man wondering a bit. Ha.

I had used a silver floating frame from Michaels and added a mat to it last time I framed the other temple art. This is because I couldn't find anything else like I was looking for. I could've done without the floating option but it worked with the mat to look just like I wanted it to. So I popped by Michaels again earlier this week and was pleased to find the same frames on sale buy one get one free. So I grabbed two for the price of one and had this all put together in just a few minutes. Now the two pieces are sitting next to each other on top of an antique Spanish chest of drawers in our dining room. They look good together. I should've grabbed a photo to share with you. Duh.

If you are interested in seeing more Tolman Bryan Design art it's available on Etsy in a variety of sizes and different temple versions. If there is one you want that you don't see, apparently it's as easy as asking to see if they can create something special for you to see. I love finding religious art that is out of the ordinary and has a more modern feel. That puts Tolman Bryant on my radar for sure!

 I'm looking forward to a bunch more posts in the next few days. It seems like I have so much to share with you, fun announcements and progress on things. I think this is going to be a fun month to come...lots of hard work, but some good fun. Hope all is well in your world!

Living Fearlessly And Refusing To Hear Discouragement

I have been in a really interesting transition in my life recently where I am feeling increasingly fearless. Don't try to discourage me by telling me my idea won't work. I have reached some really cool place in my life where I have complete faith in my own dreams and ideas. I know I can make them work if I follow my inspiration and what I know from my own personal experience. I just refuse to accept no if my soul is saying YES!

When I think about how I'm feeling I keep hearing Barbara Streisand singing Don't Rain On My Parade from Funny Girl and Mary Tyler Moore tossing her hat in the air like she owns all of Minneapolis. 

If you need a little encouragement to follow your dreams check out Barbara's anthem!

I've definitely entered into a highly creative phase of my life and I am really excited to move things forward and I feel really confident most of the time in what I'm doing. Of course there are those middle of the night moments of doubt, the few minutes before I have to go do something brave where nerves hit and those memories of past flops but hey, it's time to make some awesome stuff happen. I'm feeling unafraid to push forward, to tell people what I'm doing and ask for help when I need it. 

I've learned a lot about myself in the past year based on some pretty serious hardships and some happy moments too. So I'm following those things and recalibrating a bit and re-centering myself on things I know are most me and work best for me. It's amazing how quickly I started looking and feeling healthier, happier and more myself when I took those big steps.

It's a thrilling time and I wish I had 48 hours in every day to work on projects. I was so excited about my new table top photo booth  project, which I now realize I haven't shared here...oops. Anyway I was awake in the middle of the night so excited that I couldn't sleep. I'm talking like "I'm going to Disneyland tomorrow and can't sleep" excited. I've been the same way about a couple of business ideas and when this happens I am seriously awake most of the night just writing down all my ideas and how I can bring these things to fruition. It's exciting.

I have several fun DIY projects I am ready to work on for our house too including a planter stand for our front entryway and a more permanent outdoor dining table and benches. I think of anything these projects bring me the most joy and happiness. Working out in our pool and at the gym regularly has really helped my life in every way as well. It's kind of amazing that right now it feels like my life is growing in all directions and I am excited about every part of my life. I think that's how it should be when life is at its best. Being solely focused on one part of our life pulls so much out of focus and usually leaves our self-care, physical and mental health, homes and relationships in a disastrous state.

Oh there just aren't enough hours in the day or days in the week for all I want to accomplish. But it's a great feeling and I am really excited to see where this year takes me and our family. I'm loving our new home, our new friends and neighborhood here in New Mexico and am enjoying living a fuller, richer life. I'm looking forward to new partnerships, new successes and new adventures. More to come definitely!

P.S. Can I just say how completely excited I am that my hairstylist is back from maternity leave and I am seeing here tomorrow. I had to cancel my appointment we had set up just before she went on maternity leave which was a disaster for me. Then she came back and it was completely impossible to get an appointment with her. Finally, tomorrow is my day and I can't wait! The last time I saw her I was still on crutches! It will feel great to go into that salon without crutches after going there so many times to have them help me wash and style my hair weekly. I know so many of you know what I'm talking about when I mention the utter desperation of needing a cut and color.

A Gift For Self: Indian Handcrafted Turquoise & Sterling Silver Jewelry

A few weeks ago I completed a pretty big personal journey and felt it deserved to be marked with a reward. I decided to stop by a local downtown jewelry and handcrafted arts shop to see if there was a special something with a unique New Mexico flavor I could add to my jewelry collection - turquoise and sterling silver jewelry.

I have always loved the more classic side of Boho Style and turquoise and silver definitely live in that space. So it seemed the perfect end of something, new beginning of great new things present for myself.

I walked around that jewelry department at least five or six times. There were beautiful necklaces, earring, bracelets, watches, silver and leather belts -- so many amazing things! At some point I narrowed down what I wanted to a bracelet and perhaps a pair of earrings. I tried on a lot of bracelets in different colors and designs. I wanted to find something that really spoke to me.

That has been a theme of mine that I've been thinking about a lot lately. I am reaching a point in my life where I just want to be authentically and uniquely me. I don't want to wear or own things I don't love. I don't want to do things because I feel like I should when it's absolutely 100% something I don't want to do. I had a funny conversation with a friend about that a few days ago. It went something like this. To set the stage, there was a big event cultural event I felt I "should" go to.

Then I said, "I don't like that form of art at all...why would I go to that? No one is telling me I should.....I'm not going. I don't need to go and I don't need to feel like I "should" go. I just don't have to go." Now granted I am a complete believer in the power of just saying yes and trying something new, but that doesn't mean I need to do things that I already know don't make me happy because I think I should. There's a fine line.

So anyway, (tangent recovery) the store was really warm and as I was shopping I was getting more drenched with perspiration. But I didn't want to let that impede me from making the best choice possible. I really wanted to make sure I made a good decision and didn't just spend money on impulse. By the time I got to the cashier, the entire underneath side of my hair was dripping wet from the heat in the store.

In the end, I purchased this beautiful cuff bracelet with rows of small, squarish turquoise stones set in four rows. The sides are punched sterling silver and it is one of the most beautiful bracelets I've ever laid my eyes on. I love it that day and every time I look at it I feel like I hit the nail on the head. Will keep it for a family heirloom.

I also picked up a pair of earrings and this time I went with a complete, quintessential New Mexico style. Can't you just see me in a white blouse with a sterling silver chain belt, a ruffled denim skirt and cowboy boots headed to a New Mexico social event. That might be a little over the top, haha, but it's fun to imagine. I do love that these will go with just about anything and work well with my bracelet too. It's fun to splurge every once in a while and I think it's good for the soul. I'm looking forward to enjoying these pieces for years to come.

Living My Simplicity Goal In 2016

When I chose simplicity as my theme for 2016 I really had no idea how the year would quickly unfold and demand simplicity. Oh, boy. Six days into 2016 the foot was broken and that has very powerfully dictated how the first six months or so of this year are going to play out. Woweee.

I guess the universe just really wanted to help me acutely focus on having a simpler life. (Laugh...)  Life had forced me to go very simple. I've definitely cut some things out of my life and pared back. I have had so many people looking at me with pith and asking me how I'm doing lately and I decided yesterday that my new response (with a big smile) is "I'm making the best of a crummy situation."

Here are a few things I've simplified:

1) Kiddo eats school lunch now more often and I order lunch to my office most days. Getting up and getting a nice lunch made has always been a priority for us, and The Man and I share this task about 50/50. But rather than have him make all the lunches now, I have been giving Kiddo lunch money and let her eat school lunch. School lunch has always been a bit of a funny luxury for her because we've always sent her with a lunch, so she doesn't mind and it's saving us a good 15 minutes or so every morning. I was the mom who said she'd never let her kid eat school lunches but would rather make something good from home. Well, it wouldn't be the first time me or another mom I know went totally against something she'd previously insisted would be her standard. Ha. I'm sure it won't be the last either.

2) I keep it very simple after work. Dinner and heading to bed with an ice pack for my foot which is still pretty swollen. Maybe a little TV added in there. I have been trying to get in bed by nine, and then I relax doing some reading or spending some time doing some therapeutic coloring. We've all been trying to get more sleep which is definitely giving us more energy and making mornings more pleasant. I'm able to sleep without my boot cast on which I am pretty thankful for and it's much more comfortable than the first few weeks with the cast on all night. It's just a little nerve wracking not to let anything hit it or to forget and try to stand up.

3) I'm trying to keep expectations simple and not make a lot of plans. The past few Saturdays I have pretty much stayed home and tried to do a little cleaning, sit in the sun for a while, watch a movie or two and sleep as much as possible. I keep thinking we need to go do something, but the new house is plenty of space for us to spend time outside, rest and have our own places to enjoy quiet time.

4) We're enjoying our slow cooker. Every Saturday I try to pick one recipe from Pinterest, then get all the ingredients on a quick trip to the grocery store. Going to the grocery store isn't too bad because I can park close to the entrance & my local stores employees now recognize me and have been so kind to grab me the motorized scooter cart and meet me at the door by the time I can "crutch" up to the entrance. Motorized scooter life has taught me something I never realized being tall...it's tough to reach things on the upper shelves at stores when you short or sitting on a scooter. Never had that problem before. Ha. Anyway, by throwing something good in the slow cooker on Sunday mornings we have a great dinner waiting for us when we get home from church and then we have at least one more good dinner from the leftovers during the week.

5) I've been accepting help. Because of the number of people who have been offering to help us since I broke my foot I've been keeping a short list of things I need help with and letting people help me. A couple of friends have brought meals and both times the food has lasted us two good dinners. It's fun to eat something special brought by someone else! I really appreciate the young kid (who I am sure was stoned) who asked if he could help me get everything out of my motorized scooter basket up on to the conveyor belt at WalMart on Friday night and the young man who asked if he could drive my motorized scooter back into the store for me when I got to my car. Rough and tumble looking young men, both of them, but what a great lesson on seeing the good in others! I am grateful for all the people who've opened and helded doors and elevators for me too!

6) I've quit pushing myself to get stuff done -- both on the house and around the house. Everything that isn't essential can wait a few weeks or a couple of months. I had so many projects planned to get done over the cold winter months. That has all come to a standstill.

I have learned that I do need to have something to do with my hands. I started a knitting project and have been trying to do creative little things with my hands like color because I realized it makes me feel less helpless and annoyed with having so much trouble moving around.

7) I am putting my emphasis and energies on relationships whenever possible. I've enjoyed visits with friends, visiting new friends for a lovely dinner in their home, watching movies and having meals together with my little family too. Taking it slow, sharing time with others and enjoying the little moments are where it's at right now.

These days I feel pretty grateful to just focus on getting around and about during the day. When I try to rush or push too hard it does get dangerous - it is so easy to get tired and start making mistakes and trip or lose my balance. Yikes. That in itself is a good lesson, two good lessons actually - first to focus on what you're doing and second that pushing too hard or rushing can cause accidents.

I am looking forward to finding more glamorous ways to incorporate simplicity into my life. But for now I'm learning a lot about living simply and enjoying the luxury it brings to life.

My Story At Motivated Mamas

I have something that feels really beautiful to share with you today. It's so visually beautiful that it makes me feel happy and shiny and sassy. At the end of last year I did an interview with a great friend Camesha, aka Mama Motivator, for her series Motivated Mamas.

Camesha and I worked together at Style Network for several years. She is one gorgeous, tall, fun, smart, talented mama. When I first met Camesha she was not yet married. Now she's the mom of two super cute kiddos. Revisiting this conversation Camesha and I shared really touched my heart. Sharing it with her was a powerful moment for me, going back and revisiting the past and our joys and triumphs over difficult days. Her questions made me think and then my words came flowing out.

I am used to interviewing other people but it's a different experience to be on the other side of the questions. I have to say I feel like this interview is incredibly authentically me. Well, the best of me, at least. It's like catching me on a really good day. Haha.

I want you to see how gorgeous Camesha's blog is and hope you'll find more great inspiration there by jumping around to some other posts. Keep an eye on her series of interviews with moms from all walks of life. If you'd like to share your story, you can connect with Camesha here.

Hope you'll enjoy our mama chat. Here's the link.

My Fall Trip To Ikea

Hi. I'm back after a few days away and I have missed being here with you. Last week I was attending a military spouse event and had the very rare occasion of a couple of hours beforehand to just wander around in that neighborhood. So I decided it was the perfect time to visit Ikea and check out the holiday decorations and new fall products.

It was a lesson in changing tastes. I found myself drawn to the lighter woods again. My days of loving dark woods may be limited. I really liked this table, mostly for the shape of the legs. I love that they are different and have a little more visual interest to them.

The size of this table is nice with the large, attached fold-down although I don't like that the legs would not be centered at the table's full length. That would just bug my eyes a little bit. I really liked the bench a lot. I'm thinking for our next dining table I'd like beautiful chairs on the ends and benches on both sides. We'll see what happens. I still dream of the day we get rid of the table that we've got right now. That will be a historically happy day for me!

I like the look of these pendant lamps. I think they would look so great in multiples over a kitchen island or dining table. They would go well paired with natural wood tones too.

This was another fun lighting fixture that caught my eye. I have draperies with the same pattern on them, so I definitely see that it's one that works for me. It would be fun over a side table or in a corner sitting area...or if the ceilings were tall enough, over a kitchen island.

Because we're living in a small space and already have quite a few holiday decorations I didn't get anything in the holiday department. But you can get a good look at all the fun holiday decor at Poppytalk where they did a preview of all the holiday goods.

It was lovely to get in my quarterly trip to IKEA. Always something new to inspire the design mind.

8 Tips To Prepare Your Family to Serve Others

Last week I wrote about ways we can help the poor and needy. Today I wanted to share some of what I've learned about successfully volunteering with kids.

A couple of weeks ago I had the chance take The Bug to serve at the food pantry. I checked the first time, when I went by myself, to see if families could volunteer, what ages were appropriate and how their schedule worked.

Here are a few ideas for preparing the family for a positive experience volunteering.

1) Learn everything you need to know in advance. Do your research, talk to the staff at the location and go and serve once yourself so you can see how it will work for your family.

2) Talk to the kids in advance. Tell them what to expect. What they will be doing. Let them know how long you will be there. Will they be wearing a hairnet or apron? Will they need to be quiet in certain areas? Will there be a break? Snacks?

3) Teach the kids about appropriate safety behavior. Let them know about any physical dangers and where they will and won't be allowed. Give them any details you can about the situation they can expect there. At the food pantry children must stay with an adult and need to be very careful in the warehouse area.

4) Role play how to act in social situations they may be unfamiliar with. There may be situations that require some social graces and sensitivity when dealing with the elderly, poor or needy. Role play with the kids how they can best interact graciously. then they won't be nervous or embarrass those they are serving, you or themselves.

5) Teach them about the blessings of service. Find and share some success stories about people who have been helped at the charity you will visit. On most charity websites they have history and statistical information you could share. You can also share your own experiences if you have already visited.

6) As you serve highlight positive moments and good feelings you see your kids experience. Praise them for their good work and share with them how it is appreciated and helping the organization succeed.

7) Have a post mortem meeting. When you complete your service let family members share their experiences, build on the positives and talk about negatives. What did members enjoy, what could you do differently next time to increase the positive aspects of the experience.

8) Plan your next service opportunity. During the post mortem, while the experience if fresh in everyone's minds, schedule the time for your next service opportunity. You may choose to try a different activity or revisit the same organization again.

Teaching kids generosity and service are opportunities for some amazing life lessons.  These are experiences and lessons they will carry with them throughout life. Here's a link to another helpful article full of ideas for how you can do service with your family - 10 Ways To Teach Your Kids To Serve Others.

How have you helped your family learn through service? Any tips you can share?

Image via Deseret News

Now Is My Time #30: Seven Month Report

I meant to do a six month report but we were out of town that week and I guess it just slipped off the radar. But I thought it would be great to do a mid-year roundup of my This is My Time initiative. Here are a few things I can report as progress, which was the big goal for this year.

1) Self-care: Wow, what a difference six months makes. I am so much better at regulating my well-being. I think there are a few things that have factored into that. I am getting more rest, eating meals at more regulated times and making sure I take snacks and water with me when I go out. Those are just the little things. In every way possible I am making sure that I keep myself well. Guess who hasn't been sick this year. I can't remember the last time I had a pesky cold, sinus infection, or other annoyance of that variety.

2) Time Management: I am thinking daily about how I use my precious time. I have done a lot more things this year that I enjoy doing. I take time to paint and do other creative projects when I feel like it. I keep those needs on the radar. They are needs. There is a part of myself I connect with through artistic endeavors and I need that time.

It's easy to spend hours on the computer or watching TV or other activities that may seem restful or relaxing but in the end, for me, don't rejuvenate me. So when I have free time I want to use it doing something that feeds my soul and brings me genuine happiness, rather than fleeting entertainment.

So making time for more meaningful activities every week has added a real element of greater joy to my life. I think much more about how I use my time. I ask myself "Is this what I most want to be doing with this evening (or this hour of free time I have)?" I spend less time on frivolous things and more time doing things that really feed my soul. I also find that the more I look for free time to do those things, the more visible and accessible it is.

3) Meditation And Emotional Balance: These two definitely go hand-in-hand. I have learned to be so much more aware of how I'm feeling emotionally. I have learned that often our emotions or stress levels are way out of balance before we finally notice them. The sooner we notice we are not feeling quite right, the quicker we can take measures to keep ourselves in a healthy place.

When we're in that healthy, calm place we are better communicators and decision makers. That means we also have a calmer environment around us and better relationships too. I have learned to recognize much faster when I am feeling out of sorts and I try to take immediate action to get to a calmer state rather than waiting until I am full blown angry, frustrated or sad.

Meditation has been a big part of that. If I wake up feeling stressed I immediately do a guided meditation that addresses what I'm feeling. After just a few minutes I feel calmer and am able to jump into my day feeling empowered and in a good place -- plus much more relaxed. I can do this any time of day if I take a few minutes to do a breathing exercise or a short walk, whatever is doable in the situation to bring my stress, fear, frustration or anxiety level down.

4) Gentleness And Kindness: One of the big lessons of this year has been learning to be more gentle with myself. It's so easy to put such intense expectations on oneself. Sometimes events of the past haunts us and keep us from being able to move forward. When I am gentle and kind with myself I give myself room to be imperfect, feel worthy of love and hope for great things to come. We have to feel we deserve those things and often times we don't give ourselves that grace, even when it's easy to extend it to everyone around us. Learning to be loving and kind to myself has been a big lesson and practice for me this year.

5) Gratitude: The lessons of gratitude never seem to end. There is always more to be grateful for and more beauty and blessings to recognize. This year I have felt increased gratitude for small moments of happiness each day, for friends new and old, and for the endurance and strength to do hard things. I appreciate more than ever the blessings of good health, home and family.

When I signed up for Instagram earlier this year I realized it was a way for me to be more grateful, to lift my head up and see more of the beauty around me. I have stopped many times to snap a photo and enjoy a view I might have missed. Finding gratitude in small things seems to make one more grateful for everything.

Those are just a few of the life lessons I have learned this year. I have had the chance to learn from some amazing people this year who I have met in many different arenas. I am so grateful for their influence in my life. Thank you too, dear readers and blogging friends. I learn so much from you too. Wishing you a beautiful day and week to come.

Passionately Using Spare Time

As part of my Now Is My Time initiative I've been trying to spend more time doing things that inspire me and make me happy. I haven't really blocked out big amounts of time for those things, but more often I've been making use of small moments of "spare" time.

Whenever I have any spare time or know I will be sitting waiting somewhere (like a doctor's office, the car during a long drive, waiting to pick someone up or meet someone, etc.) I try to think of how I can use that time to do something I'm passionate about. It's so easy to just numb out and let those bits and pieces of time slip through our fingers. But when I started adding up those bits of time they became a significant part of my week.

Lately I've been listening to inspiring talks and podcasts while driving. I arrive inspired and better for the time I sat in traffic instead of bitter and frustrated. I carry a small bag of books and a notebook with me when we make long drives and I am riding shotgun. I have a nice time thumbing through books filled with inspiring design photos, enjoy reading a great novel, or sketching out ideas that are floating around in my head. It makes the time go by so quickly -- and keeps me from being a "backseat driver." (Not that I would ever do that...wink.)

When plans get cancelled at the last minute, I think about how I can use that time I had blocked out to feed my passions. When plans changed suddenly a couple of weekends ago, we decided to make Saturday ART DAY and we chose three kinds of art we could do. We had such a great time that we only ended up doing one on Saturday and one on Sunday. We fed our creative souls and had a lot of fun. Such a great escape from normal routines too.

Sometimes I sit down at our keyboard and try to learn a simple song. Playing the piano is so calming to me now. Wish I'd done more with piano lessons growing up. (Every mother in America is saying "I told you so" right now. Sorry I didn't listen.)

Instead of just numbly turning on the TV I look for things that will help me feel and enjoy more the passion of my life. I'm enjoying things I bought for myself more: books, craft supplies, organizational tools, electronics, workout equipment, and all those good things we think we're going to use that can become just meaningless clutter if we don't use them.

I am also much more conscientious about how out family spends our bits and pieces of spare time. I want those moments to be meaningful. I am trying to encourage more time on our bed talking and listening, more thinking about and doing creative things, more local adventures (like our nighttime beach outing last week) and taking advantage of all the events for families in our area. I think this is making our family life a little more memorable.

I am really surprised at how much more I am enjoying life since I started making more deliberate and fulfilling decisions about how I use my time, even in five minute increments. The longer I live the more I continue to see that life's joys are in the in between times, the little moments.

What are your favorite ways to spend small segments of time? I'd love to hear. I am always looking for new ideas and as always learn so much from you.

Now Is My Time #18: Turning Failure Into "Good Job You!"

I mentioned in last week's Now Is My Time post that I am removing the word "failure" from my vocabulary. I've been thinking about this word and events that are easy to dump under this heading. It seems to me that so often things we consider failures are really just moments where we were brave and took a big risk and things just weren't meant to work out the way we hoped. We didn't fail. It just didn't happen as we'd hoped. But it doesn't mean we blew it.

Where would we be in life if we were afraid to take risks. We would never have learned to walk because we might fall down, we would never have had the courage to go off to kindergarten or learn to ride a bike. A lot of amazing things have happened because we chose to be brave...and them sometimes we've been brave and things haven't worked out.

It seems we humans need to be able to pin a reason on why things don't work out. Sometimes we just can't do that, especially in situations where other people and their actions and sometimes their baggage influence the situation. Having a few good blanket statements we can turn to for why things didn't work out as we wanted is a way to comfort ourselves. They empower us to move on -- instead of getting stuck in the "failure" equation. The failure equation leads to a lot of over thinking, meanness and blame towards ourselves or others or both, it leads to fear and often an inability to move forward in life.

Here are a few great comfort statements:

It wasn't mean to be right now.
That person could not be there for me in the way I had hoped right now.
There is something better coming.
God knows better than I do what I need right now and going forward.
I am not able to be in that place or be who I need to be for that situation right now and that is okay.
Taking care of my well-being is the best use of my energy right now.
The lessons I have learned are preparing me for future success.

Notice none of those statements include anything resembling the following:

If only I had tried harder it would've been okay
I can't do anything right.
Everything I try fails.
Bad stuff always happens.
I wrecked the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I am a failure as a ____________. (fill in the blank with any title under which you operate: friend, employee, girlfriend, wife, mom, daughter, etc.)

So what do you think, can we throw out failure from our vocabularies and start saying "Good job you!" instead? Can we celebrate our bravery and courage to take risks in our lives and for being brave enough reach for things that seem good. We could all use a little less meanness toward ourselves and a lot more kindness and understanding.

My goal for Now Is My Time this week is to tear up any signs of the word "failure" in my life and start building more signs that say "Good job you!" I'm challenging you today to toss out one thing you've considered an embarrassing failure that haunts you. Turn it around to "Lady/Mister, you were awesome just for having the courage to try!" Let's celebrate our courage.

Now Is My Time #17: Letting Go Of Unchangeables

A bunch of things that have happened this past week have me thinking about the importance of letting go of all the things we can't change in life. Carrying around dumb and disappointing experiences that have happened in life are just such a waste of our time and our energy. Wanting to live my best life, happy and healthy, letting go of little things I can't change seems to be a perfect part of my Now Is My Time challenge.

This Monday I am thinking about letting go of a few things. A really dumb comment I heard someone make that was totally inappropriate for the setting. (I smiled when two friends mentioned their offense to the same thing without me having said anything about it.) I am letting go of a conversation that I had hoped would be full of compassion and connection that ended up feeling very rushed and administrative. I am letting go of a judgmental comment aimed at me from someone who has no idea of the real situation.

I am letting go of disappointment in my fellow human beings. I am letting go of expectations for my life that have caused me frustration and have not come to fruition. I am letting go of inappropriate self-judgment. I am letting go of the word "failure" from my vocabulary. I am letting go of restraints that tell me it might not be the right time to go for my dreams. I am letting go of things, thoughts and actions that aren't worth the best use of my time and energy.

Oh how good it feels to unburden oneself from all the little things that could eat up so much time: being offended, being mad, being revengeful, disappointed, discouraged, frustrated, envious, bitter...there are just so many ugly feelings one can entertain in this life, justified as they very well are sometimes. But imagine the freedom, peace, happiness and strength that comes from disciplining oneself to let go of those things and live on a higher plane.

Imagine this week letting go of a handful of balloons filled with our disappointments and unchangeable burdens. What would be in your balloons?

image via mca

Angels Among Us

In our family we've elected that rather than have big birthday parties with lots of kiddies running amok we like to put that same time, energy and money into a special adventure for our birthday girl. She's one hundred percent behind this too which is the only way it would work.

For her third birthday we learned quickly that birthday parties and cost can quickly spin out of control. When we tallied up everything we spent that year it was well over $300 including a birthday bike. But we were appalled. So since then we have simplified a lot but I think our birthday celebrations have become much more memorable.

Saturday was our big birthday celebration day, calendared for some time. I put in quite a few hours researching options and feeling out several of them to see what would work and where the best places to go would be. My goal for our family and for this day was to go somewhere nearby that we had never been before. Having lived in SoCal most of my adult life it's stunning how much I have yet to explore. It's easy to get into a rut of going to the same museums, beaches, parks and amusements.

That morning we got up early, packed up everything we would need, put the bikes on the bike rack (which is no easy feat!) and headed off on our adventure to Orange County. About thirty minutes from home I heard strange noises and suddenly realized that something was very wrong with the car. Within seconds my hazard lights were on and we were limping from the carpool lane across the entire freeway, off the closest off ramp and into a tire shop just off the exit. We thought we had a flat tire which we quickly realized wasn't the case when we had a chance to look. After a half hour wait, the technician at the tire shop came and looked under our car and said the ever dreaded words "Transmission." UGH...

This was the real low point of the day. What would we do with the car? Would it even be worth it to repair the car or would we finally decide to just junk it this time? This is a car that is in fantastic shape for the most part but getting old. We have already put over $1300 in repairs in the past eight months and the transmission has already been replaced once. Was our adventure already over just a few miles from home? How were we going to get home?! Dismal way to start things out.

Then angels began gently flapping their wings around us. Our first miracle was that everyone in our car kept their cool. This was a big day and it was potentially wrecked not to mention the added stress of impending car repairs. We emptied our things out of the car, stacked them nicely in a corner by the building and then The Man and The Bug played ball. The tech at the tire shop went into action. He recommended a shop near by that we could have the car towed to and recommended a way he thought the car might be easily repaired that would render 4x4 driving over but would allow us to keep using the car. Since we never use 4x4 in the city that is a great possibility for use that we never would've known about had he not said something.

Next I was on the phone with the transmission shop. He was so kind. Within minutes he had a tow truck dispatched to us and had given us a great recommendation on a car rental company and a special shop rate his company had with them. While their transmission shop would be closing for the weekend within an hour or so, he promised to lock our car inside one of their garages to protect all three of our bikes strapped and locked on the back. He solved all our problems and concerns in the blink of an eye. Not long after the car was towed away a car rental rep was picking us up in the tire store parking lot and taking us to their office to get us a car. He was very nice to upgrade us and he had us on our way in a few minutes time. Celebration day saved!

Within two hours of our original departure, we were back on the road to our final destination. Things worked out quite perfectly from there when we arrived at Balboa Island, found an easy parking spot near the ferry and walked right onto a ferry waiting there. We got to the peninsula and immediately saw the tour boat operator that would take us on our planned tour around the bay. At the ticket window I asked when the next tour was (hooray, just ten minutes from departure) and a little about the two different tour options. I casually mentioned we were there celebrating our daughter's birthday and our day had almost been wreck by the car breakdown and how very happy I was that we arrived.

I asked him if they had military discounts and he said yes. Then he got a little crinkle of a smile on his face and said, "You know what I'm going to do today? You are going to go for free." Then he handed me three tickets, retail value about $65. The Man and I were both standing there stunned. We graciously and repeatedly thanked him. We could not believe it. People don't do things like that anymore do they??? These days you hear about people being fired for doing something kind like that for guests.

As we walked down the plank to the awaiting boat we just kept looking at each other in awe. We talked about every person we had crossed paths with since the car breakdown. Each and every one had gone above and beyond the call of duty to help us out on this special day. We had thanked each one repeatedly but I hoped deep down in my heart that each one would feel our gratitude in days to come and remember how much their kindness meant to our little family as they helped us save our little adventure for a dear, sweet little girl's birthday. I have been praying since then that each of these people will in some way feel the depth of our appreciation again and again. When I shared this experience with a friend she said, "Well God was really just trying to show off for you, wasn't He." I loved that sentiment. Sure something bad was happening but God surrounded us with angels who took care of everything.

Our day turned out fantastically. It was really special day for our little family. That night we left for home completely exhausted and so happy. I'll share more about it tomorrow. But I had to share about our angels first. I think it's important, in a world where there is so much anger, meanness and hardship for us all to see and know that there are still angels among us who will go out of their way to be kind and more helpful than they even need to be. Thank you to our angel at the tire shop, the transmission shop, the car rental agency and the tour boat ticket office. You will be long remembered.

Now Is My Time #4: 10 Little Ways To Give Myself Love

Part of my Now Is My Time agenda is to take time to do little things for myself. Last week after a conversation with a wise person, I decided that when I reach those moments where I don't have anything immediate to do, but feel I should be accomplishing something, that my new goal is to ask myself "What can I do for myself?" instead of "What can I do for the house?" or "What can I do for the family?" That's a challenge. But I am taking it on. My needs are at least equal to things I can do for the home or family. So I'm totally changing the way I think of and process To Dos.

I've been trying to think about little pleasures that are important but sometimes get pushed aside for other priorities. All these things make me feel happier and healthier, so they are all valuable. I thought I'd share ten of them because I bet they are pretty enjoyable to a lot of kalanicut readers too. Tell me which are your favorites in the comments.

1) Mani-Pedi - I always feel better when I look down at my feet and hands and they look well groomed, especially my feet. I find that if I get a mani-pedi about every three weeks that works out pretty well for me. My toenails are usually just starting to chip at that point. Try buffing your nails instead of painting them to avoid chipped fingernails which seems to happen about the morning after a mani-pedi. I love having clean, buffed nails.

2) Bathing - Here's a link to a post I wrote on the benefits of bathing. After a little study, I was inspired by how truly therapeutic they can be.

3) Think Before You Get Dressed - I have found that I feel a big difference when I take a few minutes to put together a thought-out outfit rather than just throwing on clothes in the morning. When I add nice shoes or jewelry and put just a couple minutes more thought into getting dressed I feel much happier. It only takes a little thought to look a lot more pulled together, even if you are just running errands. There really is no reason for us to feel dumpy. My friend inspired me on this one. The Dress Up Revolution came about from a conversation with a San Diego wedding planner.

4) Curl Your Eyelashes - Curling your eyelashes just makes everything seem brighter and one looks a lot more awake. I like to add a little eye brightener around the insides of my eyes as well to give me a wide awake, enegerized smile.

5) Put lotion on before bedtime - I have visions in my mind of women putting on lotion before bed while talking to their husbands about the day from many TV shows and movies. I have a feeling maybe Carol Brady of The Brady Bunch used to do that. The luxury of going to bed with well-moisturized skin is a great one, which takes little time and gives your skin a chance to repair and keep more youthful looking while you sleep. Just be sure you are using a lotion without a lot of bad chemicals in it. That can be more destructive than helpful. As natural as possible is a great way to go.

6) Invest in good quality moisturizing products - Speaking of quality moisturizing products. It's worth it to invest and buy good quality products. Look for all-natural ingredients in all your beauty and body care products - and remember you only have one body and it deserves the best care you can give it!

7) Buff Your Skin - New, young skin grows when old dead skin leaves. Buffing or brushing the skin teaches the body to keep making beautiful, new cells and helps us maintain a more youthful appearance. The appearance of rough, dry skin adds years to the appearance.

8) Deep condition Your hair - This is one I've been working on lately. There are so many ways to do this from a small mix you can buy at the drugstore to homemade recipes on Pinterest. It takes a few minutes but makes such a difference in helping the hair to look soft, supple and again...youthful.

9) Phone A Friend - A good chat with a friend is pure therapy. I think we often avoid calling friends because we fear they might be busy and we'll feel dumb if they can't talk. But they often need it as much as we do. Talking with friends reminds us that we are all in the boat called life together. Some days it reminds us that we'd chose our problems over other people's problems or it just teaches us that our problems are not as big as we made them out to be. Sometimes it's just great to hear someone say, "Yeah, I've been there. You can do it. Everything will be okay." Even just laughing about some of life's absurdities is enough.

10) Floss, Brush and Rinse - A few minutes of great dental care can be so refreshing. I've loved using a tongue scraper too...crazy how much gunk it gets off the tongue some days. Disgusting. But a pretty, clean mouth is refreshing. I'd also add whitening here. Every once in a while it's a great thing to do. I did that last night. I used to be a total stickler for lovely white teeth and I've let that go just a little bit. Time for a little more pearly white action.

These are all just little loves we can give ourselves. Most of them take less than fifteen minutes and the most any would take is an hour. We can afford an hour to love ourselves each week. It's a small demand when you realize there are 168 of them each week. Surely we deserve one (or QUITE a few more) for ourselves.

I'd love to hear what your little self-loves are. How do you best fit them into your schedule?

image via mca

Now Is My Time #3: Make Time For Friends

Part of my goal for the year to make 2014 my time was to start spending more time in social gatherings, time with old friends and meeting new friends. I really believe that when you put a goal out into the world the world will conspire to help you get there. So with my new attitude to spend more time with friends and getting to know new people, I said yes when a neighbor asked if I wanted to go out for yogurt one evening. I went out to dinner with her last year and it was a delight and we chatted and chatted for hours. Really looking forward to yogurt and spending time with my dear friend again. She's one of those friends that appears on your doorstep and swoops in to save the day when you are falling apart and doesn't even need to be told what to do to rescue you. She somehow just knows and does. She's fantastic. How lucky am I to have her for a friend.

We have invited a couple over for pancakes a few times over the past couple of months. It's so much fun and we get a chance to experiment with toppings and eat lots of whipped cream. What could be bad about that? It's great fun to eat until we're stuffed and then sit in the living room and laugh and digest together.
We want to do more of this and we have other friends we've talked about doing pancakes with too. Can't ever have too many pancakes...or great friends. These same friends have kindly come to our aid on a couple of occasions for which we are grateful and we've been able to help them out too.

From that association, I received an invitation to get together with three ladies I really enjoy, admire and have wanted to get to know better. I am so looking forward to our monthly get-togethers to just drink something cozy and hang out for a while. It sounds so refreshing and not just the beverages.

Then just last night I had a very chance encounter to spend a couple of hours with a friend from many years ago. I am continually amazed when I connect with old friends to see the amazing things they are doing with their lives and how beautifully they have grown in the time since I've last seen them. It was just a delightful blessing to spend time with her and feel of her goodness and inspiration.

Opportunities have popped up and I still have a few plans up my sleeve. Making time with friends a priority has really brightened up this year so far. I've had some great laughs, learned some lovely things and am enjoying making new associations and strengthening those I already have. I find I learn some of my best lessons from conversations with friends and I quite regularly have light bulb moments in these conversations that help me figure out things that have been rumbling around in my head.

I think this year will be quite fun if I keep up with getting together with friends, new and old. It will be interesting to look back at the year and see things that have come into my life because I started making time for me and my life. That's the name of the game for 2014: Now Is My Time. It's time to make our well-being and good health our number one priority.

Now Is My Time #2: I Have To Make Time For Me

image via Crate and Barrel

Last week I posted this on Facebook:
It amazes me how you can make things happen once you set your mind to it. Suddenly you find time you said you didn't have, you find energy you thought you couldn't muster, and you find that sense of accomplishment you have been craving. It's good to push oneself. This is one thing I like about New Year's Resolutions. It pushes you to be a little better. I am more motivated because I've already done it for 8 days, I don't want to let myself down and miss a day. Do I accomplish all my goals each year? No way. But I do accomplish some of them and that is how you do a little better each day and grow in your life.

I have been thinking a lot about how we have to make time for things that are important to us. That is one thing I've been working on as part of Now Is My Time. It is my time to make decisions about my time and make that time count. It is so easy to get to a place where we act like we have no control over our time and yet that is one of the things we have complete time over. Here's an example. If you really wanted to, despite consequences, you could quite your job, you could pull your kids our of all extra-curricular activities, you could do a lot of things that would be under your control as far as your time goes. There are few circumstances in life, other than jail or prison, where one would be absolutely forced to do things with our time. Even in jail, if one don't want to exercise, go out for sunshine or eat, they likely don't force you. (I wouldn't know exactly, thank goodness.)

But really you do have total control over your time. So when we say we have no time for things that we say are important to us, that's not really honest now, is it. We make all the decisions about how we use our time.

There are a million ways to waste our time doing dumb things. It's easy to get distracted or just let a day waste away if you want to. Now be clear I do not consider taking down time as a waste of time, just the opposite in fact. What I mean is not being conscious at all about how we are using our time and frittering it away -- we're not enjoying it or benefiting from it in any way.

What is even more challenging is that there are a million great things we can do with our time that can all feel important and valuable. It's easy to get caught up in trying to be so fabulous that we totally and completely lose ourselves and everything in our lives. We can all see examples of that around us. We can probably see examples of that within ourselves. We are not built or equipped to do ten things fabulously at once. In fact if we take on one or two projects a day to do well, we are probably in the right zone for accomplishing great things without overdoing it.

So frequently I see people running on overdrive, talking about their very busy full time job, their kids, their spouses, the marathon they are training for, the volunteer board they are serving on, the home renovation they are working on, and the book club they've started to read the great classics, and on and on. Then we hear about constant sickness and sometimes serious illness that follow. It's easy to shake our heads at this scenario, but we all get caught up in it somehow. It's easy to start bartering away our time for things we would like to do instead of focusing on things that are vital for us to do. There really is a time and season for everything and we don't have to try to do everything all at one time. Sadly as with most maladies it's easier to recognize downward pattern in others than we recognize it in ourselves.

I think I have most profoundly learned the lessons of priority and valuable use of my time from two periods of serious illness. In those times, at the beginning, I realized nothing was critical at all but resting and focusing on healing. I was unable to do anything else and depended on others for help. Anything that was not survival critical quickly fell to the side. And I realized nothing really fell apart. Things COULD wait. Unimportant things vanished all together. It was in these moments that I could really see priority at work in my life.

As I began to recover I was forced to make a lot of decisions about how I used the moments I had the energy to do things. Small quantities of time, small amounts of energy each time. Any attempt to overdo it came with serious payback later that night and in the following days. It was a quick and painful way to learn, quick because I did not want to suffer any more than I had to learn that lesson.

When I began to feel my normal self it was easy to start falling into old habits and running faster than I needed to, putting too many things on my to do list. But over the years, I have been learning and shockingly, I have greatly reduced my expectations. I've gone from daily To Do lists of 20+ items to lists of no more than 10 things with the expectation that if I do 5 of them well the day has been a great success. I have never been happier. Gone are the ridiculously unnecessary guilt & feelings of not doing well enough. They are replaced by peace, contentment, gratitude and greater well-being. Perhaps the greatest gift has been feeling like I have a more solid footing in my life. I know what is doable and I will do it. But I won't give up my stability to overdo it.

I have been making time for new things in my life this last month. Rather than new things, I should call them things I used to love to do that I stopped making a happy part of my life. It's amazing how once I set my mind to doing those things that my time patterns shifted and I quickly and easily found time to schedule in three hours of time each day to accomplish them. I will be honest, some things have had to go. The house is not always as clean as I would like it. I have to sleep more. My life is not as regimented to my standards as I was able to enjoy it back in my not-so-long-ago single days. It's a challenge to live in the same home I lived in as a tidy, super organized single girl, and see it too full of three people's stuff, and messes I did not make that I can't keep up with all the time.

Most importantly perhaps is that I am appreciating and allowing more help into my life. I am trying not to get sucked into projects I might get invited into where I am not really needed. Especially for my little family, it's easy for them to just come to me for help rather than try to do things on their own many times. My hyper-efficiency can be a blessing and a burden. When other's know I can get things done faster and easier than they can do them on their own, it's easy for them to forego learning to do it on their own and just come to me instead.  It's easy for me to jump in to help other people, but it's not always the right thing to do for me or for them. They need to have the sense of accomplishment of doing things for themselves and I need to make the time to work on my life before I give away my time to everyone and everything else.

So time...not only is it part of the title of my life plan for 2014 but it is a critical element in the progress I hope to make. This week I have three small goals for my Now Is My Time plan. I am going to:

1) meditate three times (hopefully more than that because I love it!)
2) create more of a haven in my room, including get fresh flowers. (Hey how did I forget fresh flowers for so long, after this post and this post that I am so passionate about. We all need repeated reminders about little things that make life better, don't we!) and
3) live more honestly. This doesn't mean I have a lying problem I need to deal with. What I mean by this is that I am going to be more honest about how I feel about situations in my life and be more honest about how I'm taking care of myself, using my time and the choices I am making.

I will not feed myself crumbs and tell myself it's a feast. I've been guilty of that as most of us are at times in our lives. Gonna stop that. It's the emotional equivalent of eating fast food every night and saying we're eating healthily. Our bodies can register the vitality and goodness of the energy we put into it and it will speak back to us no matter how we want to pretend or justify our actions.

The idea of crumbs and feasts is something I heard Dr. Robin Smith say on Super Soul Sunday this past week. So often we are nibbling at crumbs and believing we are feasting on life when really we're starving for the things that we most need in our lives. If you are interested in learning more about our innate hunger to find our authentic selves and find and live our happiness you might be interested in Dr. Robin Smith's episode of Super Soul Sunday on Own. It was very inspiring! There are some great ideas to grasp onto and incorporate.

Have you been thinking about this as your time? Any topics you would like me to write about in the Now Is My Time series? I'd love to hear what you think. Sending you very best wishes for your day and week to come.

10 Ways To Stay Positive About Goals & Resolutions

I like many other people have set some goals or New Year's Resolutions for 2014. I have been working really hard on a few of them, knowing that if I really want to achieve them, they will take dedicated effort and a lot of time. These are the goals that will take six to twelve months to accomplish, maybe even longer.

And like many people, a few weeks into some of my goals, that I've been working really hard on, I feel like I'm suffering for my goals. I'm pushing myself as hard as I can - in a good way - I don't mean overdoing it, I just mean not letting myself quit at the first sign of it not being fun. I see tiny increments of change, but when I'm dead tired at the end of the day and I look at all I have ahead of me, it sure can feel a little hopeless.

I have definitely been feeling a little bit of the New Year's Resolution Blues this week. I would assume that is pretty normal for most resolution setters by mid-January. For me it's been a week of highs and lows. I have been very dedicated the past two weeks. I like the routine I've gotten into, I like how it's feeling and what I'm getting done. I have kicked arse. Some parts of the day I am feeling energized, super excited and am cheering myself on like a crazy woman. But when I get tired, stop working for the day or am about to get into bed I just start feeling a little bummed out about it all and as if things will never come together. Aching muscles mock me. Tiredness makes me a little impatient and quicker to be grumpy.

I decided I need to take stock in these emotions and explore them so I can understand myself better, keep myself motivated and continue to move forward. Last night I let myself really sit with my blues and be okay with them in any way that I could. At the same time I held fast to my convictions that I'm not going to quit on my goals, that I'm not going to stop. I've already done too many hard things for too many hours to stop and have to start over now. Never going back to the beginning. Just can't do that.

I realized that part of my blues are acknowledging things I haven't done in the past (that I wish I had done) that would've put me closer to these goals. Moments when I lacked boldness. I'm also mourning actions that I chose that took me farther away from my goals instead of closer. Moments of utter stupidity. I'm mourning time lost, efforts wasted by lack of commitment and walls I didn't break down sooner. When I step back and look at the big picture I can see that this is all part of my life lessons and learning but when they are sometimes painful lessons you really have to kick yourself for having made it MORE painful. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

So maybe this is the blessing of the blues. An opportunity to sit and see things are they have been, as they are and as you hope them to be. I guess there is part of me that needs to offer myself an apology and also to forgive myself for mistakes of the past. After all they have been most damaging to me, not to anyone else. I've also learned this year that I am my best cheerleader. No one knows me and wants me to succeed more than me. I know how to talk to myself and what encourages me. So I have that going for me.

While I processed my blues I started thinking about what I could do to keep myself afloat and paddling forward towards my goals, dreams, resolutions...whatever you want to call them. I guess the real direction is to the authentic me. Here are ten ideas I came up with to keep myself positive about my goals and resolutions.

1) Set a variety of resolutions, some short-term and some long-term. Then you can feel a sense of accomplishment on the easier resolutions to fuel you to keep going on the more challenging ones.

2) Build an arsenal of support. If you feel comfortable with it, share your goal with a friend and check in with them regularly. They will provide understanding and be great cheerleaders as you keep on working towards your goals. I do this, a barnstorm/brainstorm on a near weekly basis with a good friend. We try to check in every Monday morning, review the week, share successes and frustrations and then leave each other with a good bit of encouragement at the end. It's a fantastic gift to my life which I really treasure! You can also join a workout, writers, artists, readers or parents club to create a supportive community around you.

3) Grab a journal and write about your experience. Be sure to write about all the high points of your journey and use the journal as a tool to explore your frustrations and low points too. It's a great way to keep a record of how it went that you can refer back to in the future when working on other goals. It will also help you remember that things can get frustrating but if you keep working at it you will see great progress and reach your goals. This is my favorite journal style because I can easily rip out pages which I find necessary at times.

4) Find sources of personal inspiration. This might be motivational sayings on Pinterest. It could be magazine articles about people who've been successful at what you are aiming for. A vision board might be just what you need to give you visual inspiration to see yoru way each day. I love Louise L. Hay's Power Thought Cards.There are some great books out there about making time for your life and your dreams like Cheryl Richardson's Take Time For Your Life. You can also find lots of good online meditations about making dreams come true. Whatever works best for you is just what you need.

5) Set up small rewards for yourself as you reach incremental steps. Take yourself to lunch when you finish the first draft of that book. When you lose your first 10 pounds buy yourself a new workout top. Plan something fabulous for yourself for the day you reach your ultimate goal. I have used redeeming a gift card, a trip to a favorite inspiring store or museum, and a phone call with a friend as treats for myself after accomplishing incremental goals.

6)  Write a letter or record a mantra to yourself for discouraging days. Remind yourself why this goal is so important to you and what you imagine will bring you joy during the process and at the end of the road. Cheer yourself on, comfort yourself for those days you want to quit.  Speak words of strength and encouragement to your heart. Your words will embolden you very powerfully as you hear a very familiar voice buoy you up. I wrote about how to create an easy meditation for yourself here. See yourself in your heart and mind at the finish line.

7) Pace yourself and find a way to take a break if needed. This doesn't mean stop working on your goal, but know when you need to step away so that you can refresh yourself. This may mean taking a 10 minute break every hour that you work, or scheduling work on your goal for three days a week instead of six. Without giving up on your goal, find a way for it to be less oppressive to you. Some days that may mean powering through a particularly frustrating part of your path, other times it may mean stepping away with a clear plan about when and how you will return.

8) Keep moving forward. One of the major forms of resolution discouragement is lack of attention to our resolutions. If you're not working on them you won't get any sense of accomplishment, right? Make a plan, stick with it and alter it as necessary to allow you to keep working and keep progressing. Even in tiny bites it's still possible to eat an elephant.

9) Revisit past successes. Looking back at big things we've accomplished in the past gives us the faith that we can continue to do things that challenge us. I recently took stock in things I had accomplished that allowed me to be where I am today and gave me the skills to thrive now. This gave me a lot of positive reinforcement that I am ready for this time of my life and have all the abilities necessary for me to happily grow in my life.

10) Document Your Success. Take photos of your progress. Create a spot in your work space where you can see these images every day. Write yourself a "way to go" note on days when you are particularly on fire and post it where you can see it. Realizing how far you've come will make the road ahead seem less daunting and help you to see that there is indeed road behind you that you have already effectively traversed.

If you set resolutions and are feeling the blues, I hope there is something here that might inspire you to stay motivated about your goals. I am going to try a few of these myself. I am already journaling. I'll let you know how it goes and share more about my path to resolution accomplishment as the year goes on.

 Do you set resolutions? Do you find it hard to stay motivated? What have you done to keep your energies up to keep working towards your goals?

Now Is My Time #1: Restoring Focus Where It Should Be

This will be a pretty personal post. But I think sometimes it's very appropriate to share personal things with the hope that it will help someone else along on their journey. I grow and learn from the experiences others share with me and I treasure their words and their generosity of spirit to offer up words of comfort that will guide and inspire me in my own journey.

Today I am going to share with you why I chose as my theme for 2014: NOW IS MY TIME. (Yes, I am shouting it in all caps.) I've learned something the hard way over the past few years and even knowing what I know now, I am not so sure I could have done things much differently given the circumstances, but I might have saved myself some suffering.

We have had five really tough years. Beyond stressful. Here are just a few things I have been through with my little clan in the past five years: military deployment, lots of time apart, potentially fatal infection, hearing loss and long recovery, concerns about The Bug's safety, loss of a cherished mentor, and oh so many more. When I list them I realize how much I've forgotten (thankfully) and how amazing it is that we're still standing.

A few months ago I was thinking about goals and how I define my life and everything ended with the idea that I needed to be strong so I do things for other people. For instance I need to be strong, happy and well so that I can be a better mom and wife. I need to be better so I can be a better neighbor, friend, daughter, volunteer, etc. I caught myself in that moment, there was something very wrong with my picture of my life.

But that image is not what this post is about, this is a happy, excited post, so let me tie that worrisome image together with my plans for 2014. The reason that I am so happy and excited is because I feel inspired. After all I've given to our little clan during the past few years, all the stress, sleepless nights and heart-breaking, soul-testing days, things are calming down. This is my year to really spread my wings and spend some time on myself -- my own growth and my own happiness.

Not so I can be a better wife, mother, friend, employee, church lady, neighbor...none of that. But so I can be my best self, give that gift to myself and be happy! That is the way I become a better wife, mother, friend, employee, church lady, neighbor, etc.

So with that in mind, 2014 is the NOW IS MY TIME year. On New Year's Eve I wrote down in my jar what I hope for in this year. A few days later I talked with a woman who I think will be a calming guide for this year and help me see my goals and remove roadblocks more clearly. I started exercising fiercely last month. I am trying to have high hopes and lots of faith even for things that seem impossible. Because really, I don't think anything is impossible. Miracles abound.

So I hope you might be interested in joining me on my journey this year. With that hope, I am starting a new weekly column, every Monday, called...wait for it...NOW IS MY TIME. Each week I'll highlight one thing, one gift or care we can give to ourselves. I want to abolish that list of things it seems most of us have, our WHEN THINGS ARE DIFFERENT list. You know the one. When the kids are older I'll be able to exercise, or If we had more money I would do _______, or When I have more time I will ________, or When I lose 20 pounds I'll buy myself some nicer clothes, or I'll talk nicer to my family when they do _____, I'll get more sleep when _____ happens and so on and so on. This list basically puts our happiness and well-being in limbo until some unknown, future date. No good, right?!

I set a goal to try to get through as many of the hard things that I needed to clear of my plate by the end of December 2013. I made things a little harder on myself that I might've liked at times and there were a few surprised that put me on the sidelines more than once in 2013. But I cleared the slate of everything that felt like a wall that would keep me from the life I wanted to live in 2014 -- at least the ones I had any control over. Obviously I can't change outside circumstances just by wanting them to be different. But if there was anything I could do to put me in the starting gates for 2014 positioned to THRIVE I did everything in my power to move those walls.

So I arrived in 2014 healthy, ready to go for it -- and pretty happy too. We have had a very blessed holiday and beginning to the new year so far. Our holiday school break is finally over as of today. It was awesome but about a week tooooooooooo long. Of course there have been challenging moments in 2014 already, but overall I am thankful for so much good stuff in my life and wanting to be open for more. Good stuff can't come to people who refuse it. Blessings can't be seen and appreciated when we reject them because we don't like how they look or they aren't what we wanted or expected. I just want to be open to anything that can bless my life without being too caught up in how I want things or how I want everything to be. I'm going to let God guide that and be grateful.

I hope you'll join me on my journey of doing less and being more, of making my life a happy, healthy one. I'd love to hear from you about it. I would love to share stories from other women about their struggle or conquest of putting themselves first in their lives and how it's helped them grow. If you have a story to share, message me on the kalanicut FB page and let's arrange it!