The Power of "I'm Sorry" & "Maybe We Can Reboot"

Let me introduce you to our very first home grown lemon. It's been five years in the making and we just picked it yesterday. I felt like we needed to have a ceremony when I picked it, but no one else in the family was quite as  excited it as I was. But once I cut that baby open I couldn't keep them away.

The scent was amazing. Hours later I could still smell its sweetness on my hands. We were all inhaling the scent from the rind after I has squeezed all the juice into our lemonade drinks. There was not a seed to be seen in either lemon, nothing but delicious, sweet, tart juice. It was amazing. I thought that lemons would also be a great visual for the today's post. It's all about keeping things from going sour in the home.

I've had some interesting family interactions recently I thought I would share that have been pretty impactful. It's amazing how little things can have a big power over situations staying relatively calm or escalating into worse situations. Sometimes it takes just a little thing to turn a bad start in a much better direction.

First I have to say that I have really seen the power a simple "I'm sorry" can have a big impact in our family. It's human nature for us all to want to be defensive and stand our ground even if it's over something totally not important. Yesterday I got a couple of very simple, "I'm sorry" comments that I really appreciated and that were very meaningful to me. They were over pretty small things but they still meant a lot to me.

It meant that we could slow down a conversation that might be leading to frustration and hurt feelings which could bring actions that would only make things worse. It reminded me just using the phrase "I'm sorry" can be so powerful in so many ways in our home and we probably don't say it enough.

It doesn't mean we're weak or bad or that we should feel awful. Sometimes it means, "Hey I regret what I just said" or "Ooops, that wasn't how I wanted that to go." Little sorry statements said early in a situation can easily make larger, more dramatic "I'm sorry" situations obsolete.

Other times a sorry can just mean, "Man, I'm really sorry that happened to you. You don't deserve that." So often when people are frustrated and complaining I find that the best thing to say it, "I'm sorry that happened to you. I know you're hurting/frustrated/upset, etc." It helps to curb the complaining once they feel they are heard and that someone understands what seems so unfair to them. It reminds them that we all experience frustrations and somehow sets them free to move forward.

Another really power line I somehow magically came up with that worked wonders last week was "Can we reboot?" The morning has started out poorly and I was disappointed in how things were going after high hopes that it was going to be a really good day together. So I decided to step out for a while and before I left I expressed my disappointment in how the day was going so far, the nice things I had hoped for the day and then I asked, "Maybe we can reboot when I get back?"

That stopped the situation in its tracks and turned it around completely. Everyone realized the day wasn't what they wanted either and that they had wanted what I had wanted. Within minutes apologies had been made and we were on our way out to lunch, happy as clams. We all knew what we wanted wasn't what we were having and we realized we could reboot and change it completely. It turned out to be a really lovely day full of all the exact things I had wanted, but without a reboot it wouldn't have been possible.

Sometimes holding the power button down for ten seconds to shut the family machine off is exactly what's needed to reboot the day to a better path. The metaphor of a reboot is something this computer generation can understand. It is non-confrontational and within minutes things can be up and running in a much better way. I am going to keep using that as a term for our family when we need to stop and restart situation. It seems to work wonders.

Managing the emotional temperature of our homes (not to mention ourselves) is a daily, ongoing work. Finding a few little tips and tricks to keep the temperature calm and communication and family interactions positive can make a world of difference. When we create a language that speaks to the way our family works we make life easier for everyone in the family and home a much more pleasant way to be.

Do you have buzz phrases that work wonders at your house? Are there situations you want to try to diffuse?

Fun Finds At Home Goods For Summer

I'm not sure if I should love The Man more or have his head examined when he takes back a bunch of things he bought at Marshalls and then gives me the gift card with all the funds on it. That was pretty darn nice of him. I'll tell you right now I would never give him my gift cards, lol. I hoard and scheme over how to spend a gift card like nobody's business. Haha. I think he gives them to me because he knows he would lose them and losing good money drives him crazy. I love a good gift card.

Friday I had to run him to the airport and because he was running a little late, there was some question as to whether he'd make his flight. So I told him I would just stay in the neighborhood around the airport for a bit just in case he needed me -- knowing there is a BIG Home Goods & TJMaxx store just a few blocks away. Heehee. The perfect place to wander for a while even if I was in yoga pants, with my hair in a bun and no make up on. At least I have a little sun on my cheeks already this Spring. (I was planning to drop him off and head straight home for a nap after being up most of the night working on a project.) Humorously I ran into a friend who had a newborn who was there in similar attire with no makeup on either so that was comforting.

Anyway, I blew it and didn't have my gift card with me, but I had a good look around while texting back and forth with The Man on his current status several times during the hour. It's been a long time since I shared some favorite Home Goods finds and while it's tough to get a good photo in there sometimes I'm sure you'll get the ideas.

Loved this green and ivory hued mirror. The shell decoration is lovely and I like the variations around the square mirror. I can think of a bunch of places I could use this. It would be really beautiful on a dark wall or in a completely different way in a simple little beach cottage. I noticed while editing this photo that right corners are damaged. I bet there is some kind of easy DIY fix that could be done on those.

These two lamps have beach cottage written all over them. I also think they would be lovely in a 70s style modern ranch home. The glass is just gorgeous. It might even be fun to do a little something to spice up the shades.

This seems like it would be perfect in a Southwestern or farm-inspired home. I think it would fit in so beautifully in the homes I've stayed in in Albuquerque or maybe a mountain cabin. I love the power and prowess this canvas exudes. Big and beautiful.

Now that I think about it, this would be really awesome to have behind a desk in an office, wouldn't it? It exudes that perfect sense of "we're making things happen here," "I'm a beautiful force to be reckoned with" and "don't get in the way of progress."

Sometimes you need a good tall table lamp and this fits the bill perfectly. I love the modern simplicity. It's a good statement piece that doesn't need to have all the attention on itself. Would be so nice on a tablescape layered with a lovely tray maybe, bright green plant(s) or some big shells. Love the flexibility with this beauty.

Nothing about my interior style right now says French or vintage, but I loved the bright green color of this lamp. Somebody needs this...in their vintage-y or French-y home. Grab it.

This photo is so blurry, even with editing. Forgive me and imagine me trying to slyly stand around trying to get the photo while women keep coming and standing right there and I'm feeling rushed and a little on the spot. But this collection of blue pots was so eye-grabbing. I bought one quite similar to the dark blue, white and light blue patterned pot on the top left for the big Jade start our friend gave us a few weeks ago. I'll have to show it to you soon. This collection of pots makes me melt. P.R.E.T.T.Y.

I though this multi-colored pot would be perfect for the lovely 70s ranch style house I carry around in my dreams every day. The house with the high, exposed beams, white walls, floor-to-ceiling windows. It would do quite well with a small tree in it, somewhere near a sofa or chair. The dream house in my head looks quite a lot like this.

So thanks for taking a wander through Home Goods with me. I am never disappointed when I spend a few minutes adventuring there. Oh and to finish my story, The Man did make his flight, thank goodness. I'd say the morning was a Win-Win and my next visit to Home Goods with gift care in hand is going to be awesome.

I have a good idea what I'm going to spend the money on. We need two new pots. I will confess to wrecking a few good pots over the past couple of years thanks to a gas stove that have two settings "6,000 degrees" and "flame just went out." But such is life. Some day I'll have a super awesome gas stove that actually has meaningful temperature settings. But this might be the perfect opportunity to toss out some pans that are in bad shape and get something new. I think that is a go.